Jess Mallett – 13th December 2011
My First AA Meeting.
“Hello everyone. My name is Jess and I’m an Appleholic.”
Like a lot of the students at the school, I will defend Apple to the death. If it weren’t for the satisfying clicks, pops and bouncy icons, I’m sure I wouldn’t be so happy to spend hours tapping away at my pearly white Mac keys.
I’ll be honest, I don’t quite have the funds to build my iShrine just yet, but I think between us all at SCA we could just about open a store.
So what is it about creative people and Apple? Would I be cast from the doors of Ogilvy, banished from BBH and left weeping in the rain outside Leo Burnett if I dared to flash my Nokia 3456 (BC)? Would I be figuratively burnt at the metaphorical stake of shame if I revealed that my last laptop was an ancient Dell held together by Duct tape and Blue Tac? I probably shouldn’t even be writing this here, I might get expelled from the school.
In my defence my best friend is convinced that I am in fact working for Apple in order to get all the Microsoft Monkeys who are stuck in the 90’s up to speed. I think it’s an honourable calling. The poor things don’t know any better, and my Auntie Joanne always told me “You should never mock the afflicted.”
I wonder if a hard-core Appleholic would be able to perform everyday chores if we took all their iStuff away? I’d imagine they wouldn’t be able to dress themselves without the appropriate App to help them. The world may have potentially gone iBloodyBonkers.
I must admit I’m a little torn. I’m insanely jealous of all the shiny iThings people have. I might even go as far to say that the very core of my inner being is twisting and burning with bitter resentment and boiling rage as I watch an Appleholic skip and hop down Oxford Street with their brand new iPhone 4 glinting in the glowing rays of a crisp October morning. I’m joking of course. But not really. At the same time I’m hugely reluctant to spend the dregs of my overdraft on some more Appley goodness. It seems like a very slippery slope. Especially when they start putting numbers in front of everything.
A couple of mentors that I’ve spoken to have commented that the Mac is something us creative students all need a little less of. How can we expect to be inspired when we’re cooped up inside, eyes boggling and held open by matchsticks as we try desperately to ‘Mac up’ our latest designs. The fact ‘Mac’ is now a verb sort of proves my wee point about the iBloodyBonkers bit. Or perhaps it is a testament to Steve Jobs’ genius streak?
