By Rolly Ng

Bounce-backability 

I did a behaviour test with the careers service back in Warwick. The results indicate that I am very resilient, I don’t remember if it is an innate behaviour or a learnt one. In advertising, I have to expect to hit a wall, many walls actually. Alex Meckendurg gave us a master class on resilience today. Here are my takeaways. 

1. GO TO THE GYM. I have been procrastinating on building the habit to do exercise regularly. I felt great after a hot yoga session two weeks ago because I went further with an instructor who asked us to hold our poses longer than usual. My monthly offer ended a few days ago and I have to decide if I want buy single classes or a package of 10 classes to continue hot yoga. It’s definitely easier to sit and not do exercise than doing the math to find out which option is cheaper. But no, I have to be disciplined and go to a class, today. 
2. Possibility does not equal ‘Everything is good’, ‘I am fine’. It is the ability to make sense out of what I am doing to my journey. 
3. Resilience is a model.

1. “This shit is only happening to me.”
2. “The shitness will happen in all aspects of my life.”
3. “This shit will last forever.”

1. Remind myself that I am only caught up in a model if shit happens. This shit will pass.
   1. Personalisation. “This shit is only happening to me.”
   2. Pervasiveness. “The shitness will happen in all aspects of my life.”
   3. Permanence. “This shit will last forever.”
2. How to help someone else? Do a fact-finding exercise. Question if her beliefs are true e.g. if EVERYTHING is shit?
3. Running away from a tiger vs Thinking the tiger will eat me and running away. Am I trying to control what I can’t control? Growth and freedom originate from my power to choose how to respond. Between a stimulus and a response, there is space where I can take control. Check out Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. 
4. Self-help books can be unhelpful. Don’t read too many of these. It can lead to thinking, ‘everything is about me’, ‘if I get better, everything will be ok.’ 
5. Potential-interference= performance. I can’t control everything. 
6. Get hot without getting mad. Do not avoid a debate with my partner. A debate is not necessarily a conflict, it is improvement in the form of tension. 
7. Argue as if I am right. Listen as if I am wrong. I think it will take some practice for me to be able to switch between these two states in debates. 
8. Radiator or hoover? Who do I surround myself with? People who energies me, or people who suck my energy away? A hoover is someone who lets me down in promises and someone who talks me down without making the attempt to understand me.