SCABs

Britney Spears and I – By @now_pictured

By Ivan Stanojevic

 

Britney Spears and I

 

Years ago I got a lapdance from Britney Spears at her concert in Zagreb. As you can imagine, this was a highlight of my life that is often retold as a funny drunk anecdote or as a cute mention on my Hinge profile. Since people are interested in this story but I rarely get to explain it fully, here it goes. Buckle up guys, you’re in for a bumpy ride!

 

I was fresh out of high school when I found out Britney is performing at a venue less than 2 hours away from me. You have to understand, my connection to Britney goes way back. In elementary school, I would watch Toxic and Everytime videos on VIVA. I read two of her biographies and feel like I’ve lived through 2007 and 2008 with her. One of my yearbook goals was literally meeting Britney. I got tickets for the concert and the day of the event was nearing. I knew that there were certain parts of the concert where she pulls up fans from the crowd onto the stage and I decided one of those fans was gonna be me, no matter what. There was this Facebook page run by her fiancé at the time, where fans could write if they wanted to be on stage with her during certain parts of the concert. I came up with a strategy of bombarding the page with posts and videos so they couldn’t ignore me. I did this every day for a week with posts ranging from shorts stories to full-blown tours of my favorite Britney merch. It was the day before the concert and I still hadn’t heard from anyone. The tension was rising. I checked my Facebook messages and under the »Other« section was a DM waiting for me. It was from an unknown man called Jono Hart (I had no idea who he was). He mentioned the Britney concert and said I should email him. 

 

I did and a few hours later I got the email asking me if I »Would like to go on stage with Britney Spears?«. Jono explained he worked for Britney. Needless to say, I was freaking out. Looking back on it now, my email reply to him was very chill and courteous. Inside I was freaking out. Jono casually gave me Jason’s (Britney’s fiancé at the time) phone number and said I should call him tomorrow, once I arrive at the concert arena. I can’t remember what I was feeling before the concert, but it seems like I didn’t fully realize what was about to go down. I mean I had Britney’s fiancé’s number for crying out loud!!

 

Anyway, I find myself inside the arena before the concert, talking to Jason. He asks me a series of relaxed questions and hands me an autographed photo of Britney signed »Ivan <3 Britney Spears« (which still sits framed on a shelf in my bedroom). I had to do a quick chat with Edan, Britney’s bodyguard and then they both explained what the process would be. After the sixth song, I was to go to the side of the stage where Jason would pick me up and take me to the front of the stage. I don’t think I was able to fully enjoy the concert since I was mostly thinking about what was about to take place. As Britney was performing »How I Roll« I proceeded to go to the side of the stage, where I met with Jason. Suddenly I found myself in front of the stage talking to some of Britney’s dancers. The song ended and »Lace and Leather« began playing. Britney started doing her shtick of looking for someone in the crowd to pull up and SURPRISE she chose me. I walked up some stairs to get to the actual stage. And there I was. In front of 10 000 people on stage in Zagreb with Britney FREAKING Spears just a couple of meters from me. It was an out of body experience where it felt like I was observing all of this happening from a third person’s POV. 

 

Britney smiled at me and offered me a seat as her dancers handcuffed my hands. Soon enough she was dancing in front of me as she put a pink feathered boa around my neck. She seemed tinier in person and her hair looked amazing! She then got behind me and I knew what was about to happen. She was about to wrap her legs around my head. I knew fans were watching so I gave a real performance with my facial expressions. 

 

The performance was nearing its end and Britney and all the dancers started walking around me. I was looking at her with this huge smile on my face and at some point, she noticed it and her straight face changed into the warmest, nicest smile I’ve ever seen. And that right there was the highlight of the night for me. 

 

After it was over she was rushing to do the next song and I had to go back, so we didn’t get a chance talk. I spent the rest of the concert in a state of shock. The last thing I was expecting was this to become of interest to television stations and newspapers. But sure enough, it did. I gave a few interviews right after the concert in my elated state. I woke up the next morning and I was all over the headlines of newspapers and news. Not only that, but since this was a concert covering most of ex Yugoslavia, I was featured not only on Slovenian but also Serbian and Croatian news. It was my 15 minutes of unwanted and unexpected fame.

 

For me, the real takeaway from this story was that anything is possible. I was this weird teen straight out of high school that lived in this tiny country of 2 million people. I set my mind on a goal that seemed impossible and somehow, I managed to pull it off. Also it just never gets old saying you got a lap dance from Britney Spears.

 

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