By Phil Gull

 

[CLOCKBAIT] GET HIRED AT YOUR FAVE AD AGENCY IN THE WORLD IN 5 [FIVE] MINUTES USING THESE FOUR AMAZING TIMEPIECES!!!!!1!!!

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

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NUMBERO ONE

The Prague ASTROWORLD Clock

 

Set ‘ponst a majestic thick-bricked beastie of a pillar, the Prague Astronomical Clock got blissened and rechristened UP {↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑} and named ASTROWORLD after Drake started liking grime again and turned the Czech Republic into the Czech Rebruvlic (bad gyals only).

 

With this on your wristie, yr fave ECDs shall go eye mistie with jealousy at your lack of stylistic complacency daringly combined with sumptuous fourteenth-century masonry.

 

tick or tock: ticko mode

 

CREATIVE LESSON LEARNED:

TURN OLD SHIT INTO NEW SHIT

FUNS —> MUNS

“All creativity is but undiscovered thievery. The bat takes from the bird what has been blinkingly observed in the darkened veils of night, and gives the sloth slow-toed dreams of dancing through the starry firmament, furred and aloft.”

— Dani Dyer, Love Island

 

DOS DOS

Corner Yoghurt Corner, 4000 B.C.

 

the advertising industry is on fire and there’s no driver at the wheel

and the sewers are muddied with a thousand lonely suicides.

 

and a dark wind blows

and audi is corrupt

and we’re on so many drugs

with the radio on and the curtains drawn

 

we’re trapped in the belly of this horrible machine

and the machine is bleeding to death

the fun has fallen down

and the billboards are leering cold

and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

 

tick or tock:  

 

CREATIVE LESSON LEARNED:


1. NO ONE HAS ANY MONEY ANYMORE. 

2. SO KEEP IT SIMPLE.
3. WATCH THE FUCK OUT FOR CLOUDS.

“an idea is commensurate with a haribo. a single, sugar-freckled tangfastics haribo. it should be reducible to a single shape or icon. it should sit in the palm of your hand, and yet remain colourful and zesty as Hades. in the creative’s mind, there can be no rest before the zest is acquired.”

              — Post Malone, Drago5

 

BEN TEN

1v1 me Nicola Sturgeon u depeche mode cremê fraichē

 

tick or tock: thiCC tiCC

 

CREATIVE LESSON LEARNED:
MAKE IT BIG. MAKE IT MIKE MAKING NOISES TO EXPRESS HOW BIG IT IS BIG.

TAKE A SWIG OF BIG JUICE BIG.

TURN THE BFG INTO THE BBB.

TURN THE BBC INTO THE BBB.

TURN BBH INTO THE BBB.

 

“I like them big, I like them chunky, I like them big, I like them plumpy, I like them round, with something, something, but mostly I like large-scale platformable ideas prescient for the increasingly delicate cultural landscape of 2019 which can be activated into actionables for everyone from the COO to the junior brand storyteller”.

• Moto Moto, Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa

 

PICK UP FOUR SON

Waka Clocka Flame

Just do stuff that scares you, friends. Stuff that takes you out of your comfort zone. It’s scary, and we have to come to terms with the fact that our friends might be working stable jobs as accountants and consultants and PR people and get to shut their brains off at 5.30pm. But you didn’t choose that life. So deal with it, and do something that makes you hate yourself, but has a 2% of someone else loving it.

 

Waka loves you.

 

tick or tock: Waka’s choice. not yours.

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

 

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha

—> RETWEET THIS LINK FIVE TIMES AND U WON’T GET SYPHILIS <— www.instagram.com/philandalysha