By Bea Bergman

Yesterday I cried inside the Brixton market… 3 times.. It was horrible, but today I’m so happy that I did, that I feel like I have to write about it.

The day started out with me cursing day light as I had snoozed my alarm one too many times for  the 33:d day in a row. 

One of the perks of having really loud neighbours next door that keeps you up at night, is that you learn how to speed up your morning routine from 1.5 hours to 30min. I’m at pro level at the moment. 

Little did I know that this moment of intense anger was going to be the closest I was going to be to not being an emotional wreck all day.

If I knew that I probably would have savoured the moment a bit more. 

Arriving at school my routine continued with drinking so much instant coffee that my finger tips starts tickling, I do not recommend this habit by the way, but it works to get me in a really good mood. 

So, as I was bouncing up and down I went to calm down in one of the armchairs waiting for town hall to start. This day it we were lucky enough to have an amazing masterclass by David Pearl, who later on made me cry inside the market 3 times. 

The first part of the master class was really interesting and insightful. The second part is where I really pushed myself and learnt things about myself I never before had even thought of. 

We were divided into two groups. Half of us went with Marc and the other half (that I was part of) went with David into the Brixton market, at this point I had no idea what we were about to do and I remember walking being annoyed about something outside of what we were doing. 

This brings me to crying session number 1 of the day. 

We were asked to walk around the market and let our bodies and minds move towards the things that attracted us and away from what detracted us.

Easy enough? At least so I thought. Still 2min into the exercise I found myself not being able to keep it together.

The second task slow down everything – you mind, your breathing, your entire movement pattern. 

Second break down of the day took about 30sek to hit me.

The third one: see beauty in everything you dislike.

Again – crying.

So why was I crying, because I normally never cry and am very used to holding back emotions.

Why could I not hold it back? Well, I had 3 insights about myself that I really was not prepared for.

1. I never let myself fully enjoy or really dislike my surroundings. I constantly steer away from things that could make me a better creative in a way of self sabotaging. 
2. I move so fast both in body and mind that I miss out on all the different and interesting things around me. Which made me think, how much in my life have I just walked right pass and missed out on. 23 years of missing out on things that could have enriched my life.
3. I’ve always thought I was a very open minded person that could see the beauty in everything. I was oh so wrong, I’m the kind of person who makes up my mind about things before actually exploring them.

Today I woke up in time, and didn’t have to stress. My walk to SCA was the same as yesterday, but everything had changed.

So I wish to finish this SCAB by saying, thank you to David Pearl for making me cry inside the Brixton market yesterday.

I think I’m running a much better chance of becoming a great creative now.