Finally learning to let go – By @katiebcreates
By Katie Burrell
Finally learning to let go
I really like making things look nice. One of my favourite past times at school was doodling on everything. The nib of my pen going round and round. Little flecks of ink here and there. Hours dedicated to making even a little doodle ‘perfect.’ When you feel like you’re good at something, you enjoy doing it and you enjoy others commenting on it. You enjoy enjoying others commenting on it. You take in the compliments. You get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside when someone gazes at your work in admiration. You keep working on what you’re good at. It feels safe. Familiar. You work at it and you work at it. It’s your ‘thing.’ A skill that makes you, you. You work hard at your talent. You become known for being the one that’s good at that ‘thing’ and you keep moving in that direction.
That’s what school felt like a lot of the time. Doing what you’re best at and not really delving into anything new. I never really felt like I was challenging myself. Everything felt quite methodical.
Then you get to SCA and it all changes. Yes, having talent is important, but suddenly it feels like you’re abandoning what you know and working in a way that feels very foreign. I’ve found it hard to let go of my urge to make things look nice. It’s instinctive. I want to make it look good. But just doing the thing you know how to do well means you’re not working on what isn’t natural to you yet, the thing we’re all here to learn…how to come up with great ideas.
It feels uncomfortable, letting go like that. Stepping away from what’s second nature, a part of your personality. It takes a while to embrace it. Deep down you know that polishing something that isn’t a brilliant thought to start with is a bit pointless, but still, maybe if you make it look lovely someone will compliment you on your skill and your inner ego will be satisfied. But you know you can make things look nice and doing that won’t help you learn how to come up with great ideas any better.
When you finally start to let go it feels good. It’s fun and playful – scribbling down your thoughts, comparing ideas. Sometimes you find something that feels really exciting. You know it has promise and that it might worth exploring a bit more. All of these feelings are addictive. When you start to let go of wanting to perfect everything it frees you up. It stretches you out. You’re practicing the thing that you’re not very good at yet and it’s great!
So here’s to stepping out of your comfort zone. Forget about seeking praise for something you know you can do already. Being at SCA is hard and you’ll feel very low at times but hiding behind what you’re already good at won’t help you in the long run. Let go of what you know and throw yourself into learning something new.