By Manon Hede

– Sorry to bother you…

– Excuse me, I’m just bothering you for a second.

– Well, it’s probably not going to work, but I had an idea…

Some people tend to devalue themselves, apologize too often or self-sabotage, as in the examples above.

And often, these people are women, especially in front of men.
(Of course, it can happen to men)

This is due to gendered socialization: little girls are taught to be nice, polite, wise and not to take up too much space.

This sometimes results in adult women having difficulty asserting themselves, believing in their ideas, locked up in the impostor’s syndrome.

And then there is the attitude in front of them: men who ignore women, do not listen to them, do not take their opinions into account.

To overcome this problem, a list of « sentences to say more often when you are a woman » was created by a young woman on Twitter.

Gem @vegbby

Good statements for women to practice:

1) you interrupted me. I’m not finished talking.

2) No

3) that isn’t funny

4) that isn’t appropriate

4) I already know that

5) that won’t be necessary

6) leave me alone

7) you’re making me uncomfortable

8) stop ignoring what I’m saying

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At first glance, these sentences may seem rude.

Yet they are neither aggressive nor insulting!

What is insulting is cutting someone off, ignoring them, insist, even though the person said no…

Some of these sentences only defend themselves against these actions.

Others are simple statements: “Yes, I am aware”, so as not to waste time listening to facts that you already know, for example.

It is sometimes complicated when one tends to devalue oneself, to think that one’s word has value or that one’s opinion matters.

Practising pronouncing these sentences on a daily basis can help you to assert yourself better!

I’ve already started to stop apologizing for nothing. (I’m trying)

Which is crazy when you realize how much you overuse the “sorry” or “excuse me”, even in banal sentences.

Manon