Ho Ho Ho Green Giant – By @AndrewBurrell87

By Andy Burrell


Ho Ho Ho Green Giant


I’ve been a comic book fan for as long as I could read and I’ve been attending Comic Con ever since I was able to scrape the money together from my first paper-round. I love comics. I’ll admit it, I’m a geek. Everyone’s dream in life is to make money doing what they love. But I’m no writer. I can’t conjure tension and fear, passion and villainy like those great wordsmiths can. And I don’t have mad drawing skills that can bring heroes and villains cascading off the page in beautiful, vibrant colour. Sadly, my love of comics seemed destined to be no more than a hobby.

That is until I found out about web-camming.

If you know where to look there are people who will pay to watch you do some freaky shit and I mean freaky shit. And comic book nerds? They are the creme de la creme of freak. The gold standard. To the point where I’ve considered counselling to help me deal with some of the dark stuff that slides into my direct messages.

But if you can plug a gap in the market there is money to be made.

So by day, I’m Andy, the comic book nerd who goes to ad school and likes to ride his bike. But by night, I’m sexy Bruce Banner. I’m the Hulk. People send me clothes that are far too small for me, I cover my self in green, put them on and then we Skype. I flex my muscles until I tear their tiny clothes right off and they do what they they’ve got to do on the other end of the line.

I’ve had clients from Canada, India, the Phillipines, Italy, a lot of French. I even have a guy from Sydney, Australia who gets up in the middle of the night just so he can catch me during working hours. I have a Paypal and a P.O. box. It couldn’t be more simple.

I’m a professional guy. I put on a professional show and trust me, these nerds get their money’s worth. My evenings are busy with signing autographs, putting on live performances and private rip shows for anyone who’s prepared to pay a premium.

My dream is to get as big as some of the other top-shelf comic book experiences like ‘Jabba the Slut’ and ‘Sex Luther’ but it’s baby steps at the minute while I’m juggling school work.

For now, I’ll keep exercising, keep those legs chunky and powerful, keep pretending it’s all in the name of triathlon training. As long as there are paying freaks then I will continue to be their big, bulging, green web-cam prostitute.

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