Masterclass – By @DJayDancer1
By Daniel Johnson
Today I dropped a cool £170 on a subscription to the masterclass website.
This was, of course, a complete mistake.
A youtube preroll appeared with some old guy talking about negotiation.
‘’Everything is a negotiation’’ he states between hostage negotiation footage.
Turns out this Chris Voss guy is an FBI negotiator.
The Masterclass seems intriguing, I click the ad to check the price and the next thing you know I’ve accidentally got a years subscription.
As regrettable as eating into my savings is I now have 30 days to check the class as well as every other masterclass on the site.
So Voss talks about some rather straight forward techniques like Mirroring and Labeling.
Mirroring is simply repeating 3 words the other person has said (usually the last 3).
This communicates that your listening and they’ve been heard, so much so that here, in fact, is your exact words back. With a curious tone, it invites the other person to speak more.
He then recalls a story of a man who would go around events and do nothing but the mirror and how people would run-up to his wife to tell him how great he was to talk to.
These techniques remind me of things if read about in my brief readings into NLP.
Mirroring is definitely effective, especially when you layer that in with making observations.
I remember one conversation I had years ago dabbling with this, I simply observed, listened and fed them their own words back over and over.
He kept feeding me more and more information about this arbitrary thing I asked them about. But I simply left them space to tell me more, to go deeper, repeating what they said with a curious tone, finally after id heard enough to put some of the puzzles together I made a statement.
They looked at me dumbfounded because Id said something they didn’t even realise about themselves.
At that moment I changed the way they see themselves and without much effort either.
They say in business its seek first to understand then to be understood.
I find it funny that when we go out, we want to meet that super attractive, charismatic interesting person.
Yet the best conversations are the ones in which we talk a lot, where we’re allowed to open the vents and let passion flow freely.
Maybe the best thing we can do for others is not to be a beacon of wisdom then but to be a mirror.