Never too late. By @JOurselin

By Jennifer Ourselin


Never too late.

Six weeks that I am at SCA and I only just rebought my laptop …

For more than a month, my computer unfortunately dropped me. It was a very big frustration from the beginning, especially when you arrive with lots of projects and you have the opportunity to practice every day but it was not necessarily a reason to find an excuse or not to work. So somehow, I tried to find a solution until today with scamps which we represented our concept or computers that are available within at the school.

Sometimes it was quite beneficial because I realised that to represent our ideas, a scamp was sometimes much more accurate than what could be represented on photoshop/illustrator or any other software on the computer.

But until the day when we had to do this typography exercise on After Effect and the pressure went up. Although I wasn’t alone, there were two of us who didn’t know very well the After Effect software. Even if I mastered the Premiere software, I wanted to discover After Effect because It was the moment to be able to inaugurate it through this exercise. It was a challenge as for me as for my partner.

So once that the editing started, the mentor advised us to push our idea even further. Then, time passes and panic begins to feel, we did not have much time to finish that we wanted to do and we had only one computer for two. In parallel, I discovered at the same time the software until I take confidence and that I overestimate the time.

In the end, we have reduced the time to make sense of our quote but we realised that it was relatively short to what was asked of us. So 5 minutes before the end, we export the latest version to make it on time then we try to also put the first version to give more elements but alas it was already too late. Fuck.

However, I draw positives because I learned how to use after effect software. But however, I have never felt so embarrassed at the presentation and I think it you saw it, and that we could see my pain on my face. But that being said, It motivated me to work on it in the next days afterwards to correct me and master the software. And I think for those who may be in a situation similar to this one. If you are afraid of failure, you will notice that anxiety will prevent you from doing a good job. The negative stress, manifested by the fear of failure, will have the effect that we will not be able to function properly.

As you have seen with my example above.

Although I did not know the software I knew very quickly to familiarise myself initially but due to a lack of time. Unconsciously, you have the impression that you will not be able to finish it in time.

In fact I did not know the various parameters well but we progressed little by little because I discovered at the same time how we used the different effects. But on the end, I was obsessed only by the hour. I did not feel able to do anything anymore. I was starting to be more perfectionist than I was, and I was running away from what I had agreed to because we only had half an hour to finish and our brain was overwhelmed by the stress.

Unfortunately that day, I refused to trust myself and that is why I could not reach my goal but it allowed me to see that I absolutely have to correct me this year to be comfortable on a project I am not used to because finally It penalises you much more than you think. And you lose all confidence in you!

But you just have to think that it’s a good way to practice even more when you’re a student in order to be ready when you finish SCA.

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