By Scarlet Pughe

 

O little town of Brixton – The SCA Nativity

 

With Christmas fast approaching, hundreds of schools around the UK prepare for their yearly nativity. This got me thinking.. what if SCA put on a nativity? 

Obviously as the director, executive producer and casting director of what is soon to be the best production of the nativity the UK has ever seen, I must be exempt from playing a part. But this did make me wonder who in the Krak cohort would be most suited to each role. 

Treating my job role as casting director with the upmost importance, I started to research what primary school teachers look for in their auditionees. I read an article in the independent which stated the characteristics of each part, which now makes it very clear why I was cast as Mary 3 times in a row (s/o to mum and dad). But this made my job muchhhh easier, so without further ado, the 2019 cast of the SCA Nativity – 

‘O little town of Brixton’. 

Mary – Gigi (Understudy – Elle)

•       Louder-than-average voice for a five-year-old
•       Not averse to blue or holding hands with boys
•       Parents likely to contribute to school funds in a significant way

Joseph –  Oliver (Understudy – Tommy)

•       Always does his homework and gets at least 9/10
•       Definitely going to be a prefect
•       Quite quiet but also somehow annoying
•       Will grow up to found an app that will make him a millionaire

Baby Jesus –  Squirrel (Understudy – Zelda)

•       Small and can’t speak

Narrator –  Katie (Understudy – Phillip)

•       The one who organises all the social engagements
•       Loves the sound of their own voice
•       Ends up doing everything because they don’t trust anyone else to do it right
•       Bossy AF

Shepherd – Alex (Understudy – Pierre)

•       Absolute LAD
•       Mad for the BANTS
•       Sometimes a bit naughty but really just a cry for attention
•       Pretends not to enjoy wearing a tea towel on head, secretly loves it

Wise man/person king – Chloë (Understudy – Sean)

•       Well-behaved, top-of-the-class type (who can be trusted with an expensive-looking prop)
•       An introspection and dignity that translates to a sombre, thoughtful expression when eg presenting gifts to a baby
•       Good sense of direction, ie when following stars

Donkey – Sam (Understudy – Chris) 

•     Cheeky
•     Can be a bit of an ass at times
•     Thinks they’re too cool to take the play seriously but secretly loves being an important part of the story

Angel –  Dean (Understudy – Ivan)

•     Capable of entertaining themselves for hours with a piece of tinsel that “fell off” the halo
•     Craves attention
•     Loves a gossip with Mary 

First Lobster –  Aaron (Understudy – Alice)

•     Very proud of their role
•     Thinks that their primary role gives them an omnipotent authority over all the other lobsters present at the birth of Jesus
•     Adult life likely to be plagued by the stark realisation that their casting was a matter of pragmatism rather than talent and they now have a serious seafood complex

Star – Holly (Understudy – DJ)

•     Thinks they got the role because of their star quality
•     Actually just because they’re too nervous to speak in front of mean parents
•     Team player

 

Herod  – Alfie (Understudy – Alfie)

 

•     Unnecessary agg for no reason
•     Big ego
•     Good at killing other people’s babies

 

Inkeeper – Eva (Understudy – Elisa)

 

•     Doesn’t understand stranger danger
•     Too nice to turn people away 
•     Would throw their hands at being a midwife

 

Holy Ghost – Isik

 

•     There in Spirit