Self Isolation – By @bellwoodart

By Elle Bellwood

Self Isolation 


  1. Get so blackout drunk, you forget this is even happening.


2. Run round the garden naked.


3. Get sooooo skinny by eating all your isolation food in the first few days and then starving for the rest of it.


4. Stare at yourself in the mirror until you literally can’t bare to look at yourself anymore.


5. Go back through old photos and cry about how skinny you used to be.


6. Watch Doctor Foster for the 5th time.


  1. Argue with Gigi over Remo about a campaign that never had any legs. 


  1. Troll the Remo chat through masterclasses. 


  1. Sneak onto people’s tables on Remo (muted and no camera) and listen in on people’s conversations.


  1. Rip all your acrylics off out of anxiety and regret ever doing it for the rest of isolation. 


  1. Argue with your family. 


  1. Drink ALOT of wine. 


  1. See Monday as the new Friday. 


  1. Don’t save any money by buying pointless shit off amazon because retail shopping is the only thing your soul needs.


  1. Lose a day scrolling through TikTok. 


  1. Deep clean your room


17. Cry cause you miss Alex


  1. Debating dropping out of SCA. 


  1. Try to take a photo to update your LinkedIn but cry cause you haven’t seen the sun for a month and you’re so pale.


  1. Post loads and loads of throwbacks on Instagram. 


  1. Actually talk to your sibling. 


  1. Pull yourself together for one day and bang out loads of work. 


  1. Sneak out the house to film TikToks with your best friends. 


  1. Go vegan for 4 hours. 25. Try and setup an ASMR YouTube channel. 


  1. Cry because you realise a SCAB is due in today. 


  1. Slam the top of your laptop down 5 times a day because Adobe isn’t working. 


  1. Snuggle your dog.


  1. Wear the same outfit for two weeks straight. 


  1. Let your hair self-wash itself by not showering. 


  1. Try to go from fear to flow. 


  1. Cry because you’ll never be TikTok famous. 


  1. Stalk Hailey Baldwin’s Instagram and try and figure out what she has that you don’t. 


  1. Cry at one of Marc’s emails. 


  1. Fake tan every inch of your body to try and make yourself feel better. 


  1. Have a proper word with yourself because actually you’ve got a lovely home and family and you shouldn’t be acting like such a child.


  1. Have an online Deliveroo date with Alex. 


  1. Go on Rightmove and pick your dream house. 


  1. Go on Skyscanner and book a dirt cheap holiday you’ll never be allowed to go on. 


  1. Realise you’re only 3 days into isolation and cry because it’s felt like 3 months. 

Hope these help. 

Bellwood x 

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