Stress addiction

I’ve been looking forward to Half term, I planned to relax, to get some more works done, to meditate and collect dots.
Error.
Over half term I felt like a lab rat, closed in my cage, with my food on the right and a bottle of water on the left. I woke up every day at 6,30 as usual and my first thought has constantly been “there’s not enough time”.

Result?
Lovely nausea woke me up in the middle of the night from nothing for at lest 3 nights in a row and a gorgeous herpes appeared on my upper lip. And I still think I haven’t produced those amazing pieces of works I expected.
I’ve started questioning myself if this is the life I want to live, if this is a rhythm I can stand and so on.
I had a long walk last Sunday (finally) looking for some freedom, meanwhile I was texting my sister and a few friends. It’s properly summer in my hometown and everyone started to tell me how amazing it was to spend the whole day on the beach, and to be completely frank I wasn’t envy at all, i mean honestly what’s the point on laying on the sand for hours doing nothing? My mom always told me that I’m not Sardinian and she always knew I would have flew away In a grey place sooner or later, the maximum time I can spend doing nothing cooking my skin under the sun is one hour, then I start getting nervous and bored to death. In fact the last time I’ve been home during the Easter break I’ve been anxious and bored the whole time, nothing to do out there, there’s no corner of that place that I don’t know, there’s no face I haven’t met yet.
“Why can’t you relax?”
Many people confuse relaxation with inactivity. A brain to be refreshed needs to be stimulated by interesting things, because when you do nothing you just focus on problems and things that you could actually do instead, at least that’s me.
So once I reached Alexandra Palace and finally sat down I got my answer.
I’m happy, I love my stress, I discovered so many new things just researching for my campaigns, I’ve met so many interesting people, and I will keep on doing it.
Of course advertising like all the other jobs will become a routine with time, but for sure it will involve many different topics every day. And I can’t wait!
London may be grey and stressful but it’s a constant evolution, it’s like living in many different places at the same time. I could never ever go back or think to do something that doesn’t involve new discoveries everyday.
Sorry sun, sorry fresh air and nice food, but I love too much my stress to dump it for you.