The Final Final SCAB – By @danieljburkitt

By Dan Burkitt


The Final Final SCAB


Well, well, well. My name is the last on the rota. What an honour this is, truly a privilege. It has fallen to me, Daniel Jonathan Burkitt, to round off the SCABs for the SCA 2.0 intake of 2018/19 aka HUSH. Did you Hear Us SHout? You know you did.


So what will this final SCAB be? A mushy one pulling at the heartstrings of my coursemates? Or one offering wisdom to all you pesky year belows? As Doritos once said, porqué no los dos?


Part 1: Advice


If I could go back in time and speak to myself pre-SCA, what would I say? First of all, I don’t know if this is inappropriate, but I just want to say that you look great. Have you done something with your hair? It’s really working. How are things in July 2019? Yeah looks like Boris is going to be PM, it’s all a bit of a mess really. But look, don’t worry about that, I’m here to offer you some hard-earned wisdom.


Never ever under any circumstances go and see your friends and family on the weekends or even… heaven forfend… during the week. In fact, you should bring an inflatable mattress in to school, put it under your desk, and never leave that harshly lit, strange smelling room. Let it swallow you whole. 


Whatever you do make sure you are completely uncompromising when you work with other people. Don’t take any shit. Never give in. Your vision is more glorious than creation itself. Don’t listen to those fools, you know better, you’re a genius, a maverick, a golden god. You are the perfect creative just the way you are. 


And most importantly, I’d look myself right in the eye and I’d say, look Dan, this is serious mate, you’re going to be making ADVERTS. This is a BIG DEAL. Never forget it. People MIGHT DIE if you don’t put a keyline around your scamps. Planes will drop out of the sky if your PB video doesn’t give Marc goosebumps. This really really really matters. Don’t you dare forget that.


Part 2: Mush


I would like to raise a glass. Firstly, here’s to you Jacob, the love of my life, the reason I get out of bed in the morning, my body, my soul, my art director. But more importantly, here’s to every last one of you HUSH, here’s to the crazy ones, here’s to us. What a ride it’s been, dear friends, what a year. An odyssey no less. From painting mugs to seat saving slugs to final day hugs, it’s been a pleasure spending a year with you oddballs. 


As Mother Theresa once said, “None of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.” A beautiful quote from a beautiful, saint-like woman and how apt, HUSH, how apt. 


We’ve each done the small things, with great love; we’ve made reflection slides, we’ve written SCABs, we’ve done live briefs, portfolio briefs, proactive briefs. We’ve dented culture. So much work, so much love, so much to be proud of. Truly, something wonderful. 


Remember the first day of school? When each of us walked through that door and  it felt as though God herself was stood in the pit, but for some reason She was a balding man with blue hair and hideous trousers. And God said to us, my name is Marc Lewis and I am your Dean. And we all felt a jolt of electricity flash from our eyeballs to our cerebral cortex and that was it, from that moment on, he had us under his spell. 


But what joy, as we many became one, we happy few, we merry band of brothers. Together, we are a giant penguin huddle, protecting our little portfolio eggs from the harsh Antarctic winds. We are a delicious vegetable soup, each ingredient more succulent than the last. We are a solar system, each planet orbiting the central star, Dean Lewis, with an otherworldly, transcendent beauty. We are a family,  a gang, a society. We are the most powerful nation on Earth.  


I love you all. May Jah bless you and protect you and be with you with always.

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