By Zac Mehdid

This is not a safe place

… At least that’s how I feel. Since day 1, we were told that this school is a safe place, where we can be ourselves, where we don’t judge each others, where we should feel free to think, say, and do anything. I’ve got it, understood it, but I don’t feel it, and that’s a problem.
Indeed, the main reason why I decided to put everything into this school, to do my best to get a scholarship is because the day I first visited the studio I felt right at home. I didn’t know anyone, had nothing to do, but it just felt right: the best feeling ever. And that’s why I chose SCA and not Miami Ad School or Berghs for instance.

However, now that I’m here, I just feel less and less free to be myself. I am losing myself to this sort of robot, product of mentors and peers, not able to really tell what he feels, and share his ideas. Even worse: a robot unable to have good ideas – or any ideas at all.

What a depressing SCAB, you might think. I don’t think so. It’s nothing but honest, and I believe it should be the main point of SCABs. After all, it’s a safe place, innit?

So I’ve decided to take my first day off of the year tomorrow, and think about who I am, what I want, why I’m here, what I should do to achieve my goals, etcetera. Well, that was the first plan. Now it is slowly turning into a sort of “let’s go out and collect dots” kind of day, which isn’t bad at all, and perhaps even better. I mean, is one day enough to find myself anyways? I don’t think so.
I don’t really know what to do and when to do it, but it should be soon. I don’t want to spend another week like this; it completely defeats the purpose of me being in this school.

I’m writing this SCAB as an effort towards the amazing sensation of feeling at home. It feels weird, but definitely good.

Sayonara.