By Chloe Gray

Week 5 on The Apprentice

To: Mum

Subject: Week 5 on The Apprentice

Hi Mum,

Can you believe it’s already been five weeks? As you know, everything about the show is confidential until it airs, so please keep the content of this email between the two of us.

I remember being eight years old and watching The Apprentice for the first time with you. Seeing the contestants running around London trying to complete ridiculous tasks before their deadlines and wishing I was in their shoes. Well, 13 seasons later and I’m finally here! You’ll be pleased to know that I’m loving every minute.

They’re certainly keeping us on our toes; each day is meticulously planned and jam-packed. This week we pitched new names for bottled water to a client and invented animals that could solve human problems. My partner and I came up with the Wi-Fly – a tiny robotic insect that carries internet signal to areas that have lost connection, like those struck by natural disaster and war. Other tasks have included life drawing, filming silent movies, creating news-worthy protest placards and making music videos. Apparently we’re just warming up at the moment and the real work is yet to start. 

Alan Sugar looks much younger in person than he does on TV, and the writers have given him better jokes this season. And interesting trousers. He’s as straight-talking as ever though, and he and his sidekicks are always there to steer us in the right direction when we’re losing sight of the way. I think they must have tightened the production budget for this year because instead of sending us on helicopter rides when we win, we get a bar tab at the pub around the corner.

There are at least twice as many contestants as in previous years, and nobody has been fired yet, so we must all be doing an okay job. I’ve made friends! It’s really not as ruthless of an environment as I imagined – everyone helps each other wherever they can… it’s almost as if they don’t know this is a competition show. As you’d expect from The Apprentice, there are a few big egos and larger than life personalities, but they’re not nearly as clueless as the contestants usually are. In fact, I’ve never been around so much talent. I’m having to work hard harder than ever to keep up, but it feels great to be a little out of my depths.

How are you? Have you made up with Barbara from Business Affairs? Or is she still being a passive aggressive cow?

Sorry I can’t keep in touch as much as you’d like, they don’t let us use our mobile phones here. 

Please give dad and the dog my love.

See you soon,

Chloë x