What I really think of everyone at SCA – By @joeyfraser95

By Joe Fraser

What I really think of everyone at SCA

Lambs to the cosmic slaughter. 
That’s what everyone at SCA are. Wake up, sheeple! Can’t you see what’s happening? We’ve been led through something we don’t understand. How can we when no one else sees what’s happening? I’m going through everyone at the school to explain why you need to take your blindfolds off and understand how ‘conspiracy theories’ are really ‘conspiracy facts of life and you need to get onboard or get taken by the Martians’. Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams but steel beams can bring society to heel.
Aleks: Look, you hide behind your art direction, hoping it will bring you solace but it won’t. You’re lucky I’ve brought you under my wing before you end up like Biggie. A rapper.
Alysha and Phil: Don’t want to rain on your parade guys but… wait… I can’t rain on your parade. Only Obama can do that. Better take out that Team GB campaign that has no mention of the 44th President’s supernatural abilities. 
Antonio and Forrest: Listen here, all right? One day you’re gonna have to wake up and smell the macaroni. Also, blue skittles were an inside job but don’t quote me on that.
Andy and Dean: Marathons are just excuses to get you fit for the fight against the Proletariat. Eat a doughnut and you won’t get drafted.
Coco and Leli: I’m gonna prescribe a tin foil hat to you both. It’s ridiculous you guys haven’t called yourselves Cocoloco or Ecoli. That could only be a result of a nicely washed brain.
Charles and Josie: You’re doing all right because you know how flat the Earth is. But you need to tell people more. You’ve protected people’s toes in your book but now protect their minds. You work in communications, the flatness should be common knowledge by now.
Dan and Jacob: The fact you guys appreciate that Saved by the Bell was a vehicle for the Illuminati gives me hope. I can see that in your Ecosia work. What I don’t buy is your lack of faith in our insect overlords. Sad!
DJ: Dan. Jacob. 
Gémina and Jemma: Better start using Kleenex because the moon doesn’t exist! Put that in your tissue box and sniff it.
Holly and Alex: Good job. I saw what you were doing with your Pukka idea. Making people think about the Illuminati. Illuminatea. Smart. Keep it up.
Joe and Mads: Four legged octopi rest inside 10 Downing Street. Why do you think they have the cat guarding the door? Maybe stop inhaling the chem-trails from your vapes and start exposing the truth, yeah?
Joe and Alex: Guys, you can’t put Michael Jackson all over your book. It’s just not acceptable anymore. People know about his murder by Iran. You’re asking to get assassinated.
Karolina and Mary: I don’t know why you like Alexa so much. Ask her “what day is 27th July 2020?” and she’ll tell you “The opening of the gates of Hades.” AKA, the end of the world! Pull the damn wool out from your eyes.
Lucy and Lauren: Our First Direct connection to dinosaurs was through the pyramids. How else could mankind build such structures without their help? It was the perfect marriage. Pull the wool out from your eyes.
Marta and Vic: I know you’re both lizards.
Max and Alfie: WeWork is a government program to turn us into Communist, atheist, batteries, you noobs. Maybe unplug yourself from the Matrix for a second and take a look around.
Ruby: I’m sorry you won’t live to see the New World Order. It will be beautiful.
Saphire: You know, my cousin could walk until he got vaccinated.
Tarun and Rachel: I like how you know Hillary Clinton is dead. That’s not common so good job.
Tom and Patxi: You claim to be people of ‘science’ with your Bud Box idea. But how can you be so blind to the Large Hadron Collider being the device for awakening Osiris, god of death? Maybe stick to RSPCC and leave the science to the rest of us.
Zoe and Sophie: I hate to be the ones to tell you, but The Beatles never existed. I know that means writing a whole new portfolio book now but it’s better to tell you sooner rather than later.

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