SCABs

“Who am I?” Masterclass from Deanna. By The SCA Intake of 16/17

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“Who am I?” Masterclass from Deanna.

 

QUICK EXPLANATION OF THE CLASS AS AN INTRO:

 

Daisy: That masterclass really lived up to the word “masterclass” – if that makes sense. It was a real experience to put down our notebooks and evaluate our own identities as well as those of our classmates. I learned that I present a hardworking front but keep myself to myself in many other ways. I was fine with that, as I’m sure it’ll come in time. By the end of the year, hopefully the main adjective that people use to describe me won’t be “career-oriented”.

 

Lauren: D’s so great – like actually. This class especially really got me questioning ‘WHO AM I?’ The answer? Well, it seems I am a constellation of head and heart characteristics, a kind of walking contradiction where ‘save the world’ gypsy meets ‘do or die’ warrior. Gypsy warrior if you will… mmm. (It’s been a long day/soon to be morning, apologies for the complete and utter nonsense-ness). Big love D x

 

Krista: D’s lecture really opened my eyes. The way that I see myself is not always as the others see me. I am yet to figure out whether that is a good thing.

 

Anam: Dee’s masterclass frightened me. I find it hard to talk about myself, and I was terrified to find out what people thought about me. Mostly, I realised what I wanted to portray about myself and found myself hoping that other people picked up on those things.

 

Kenny: ‘Who am I?’ It’s quite a big question isn’t it? It asks that you assess your insecurities, your ambitions, your emotions, your very existence even. How can a question steeped in such ambiguity be answered in one sentence? …  Well for me, it can’t, but a masterclass is a masterclass and if finding out what makes me, me is the goal, then sure as shit I’ll have a crack achieving it.

And so began an hour of anxiety, confidence boosting, reflection (literally) and surprise. It was fascinating to see what other people thought about me, and how that contrasted with what I had written about myself. Did I resolve any deep personal issues? No. Did I figure out who I am? Most certainly not. But you know what? I had fun and got a wee bit of positive energy to end the week on. I can’t complain. Top stuff D.

 

Augustine:  Seeing the difference between how others characterise us and the words we pick out to define ourselves provoked quite emotional responses in all of us, I think. The introverted inner self that I marked out on mirrored paper didn’t seem to exist outside of my own head. Starting a sentence with ‘I am’ is frightening as hell. It’s easiest to just avoid it, which is why Deanna made us do it – thanks D.

 

Mary: The things people wrote about me were very different from the ones that I wrote about myself. Some I could definitely relate to, others were rather surprising. It was interesting, emotional and eye-opening – I hope we can all do one again at the end of of the year!

 

I think one of the things that SCA does very well is to teach us about ourselves, and though this masterclass was frightening at first, it made me think, smile and wonder. I think I’m still processing this tbh…

 

Thanks Deanna!

 

Kyle: This masterclass really made me understand the impact my actions have on the way people see me.

 

I found it very hard to accept the way I saw myself. But as soon as I saw what others had said about me I felt quite emotional and a weight felt lifted off my shoulders.

 

Fenton: For some reason when we were given the explanation of this exercise it kinda filled me with dread. I thought people would avoid writing on my back because they may not have anything positive to say or it would be easier than thinking of something. I figured out that the results I saw was pleasing. I am what I project myself as to others and more. There is definitely more traits I would like to add and this is something I will keep in mind.

 

Adeline: I’m not sure what to actually say here. Or maybe I am. Am I? Maybe (surely) I’ll write about this in another SCAB. The only thing I can say is that this masterclass blew my mind. And my emotions. And everything else.

 

Alexandra: Every action we take and word we say builds around us with judgements constantly forming in others’ minds. We all want to know what people really think of us in theory but when confronted with the chance to have our peers describe us anonymously with a pen to the back, we’d rather leave it to the imagination. Luckily, we all seemed to leave better impressions of ourselves on others than we thought and it led to a warming confidence that should remind us to be as kind to ourselves as we are to those around us.

 

Sophie: Oh, how I want to be childish. I’ll write childish… someone will think i’m childish. Right? No Sophie. Deep down, although you can become childish – that’s not your core – that is not who you are. And of course, no-one wrote that on my back. Instead I got words which I had never thought to define myself as – yet, were so true to me, I was taken aback. There was no ‘this is how I want to be’ instead it was raw, pure and organic – it was me to the core. An eye-opening task which enabled me to stand strong in the roots which I have truly grown from.

 

Rollo: Who am I? Something we all wonder. How do I come across to others? Something we’ve all wondered since starting SCA. As we’ve recently learned ICE, often the way we think our message is coming across is not always the way it’s received! It’s like that with people, especially new ones. And as Dee’s masterclass showed me, we’re are own worst critics.

 

Tomo: I can happily admit that I want to be liked. But I’ve never really thought about how others might describe my character. Deanna’s masterclass was a bit of an eye-opener in that sense. The words some had used to describe me were ones I wouldn’t immediately associate with myself but after a bit of introspection I began to understand why they cropped up. For someone who likes to think they’re reflective, I probably don’t reflect on my own character enough…

 

Mark:

Where is the line between the us that we show to the outside world, and the us that we feel deep inside. If we show one version of us for long enough, do we become that person? These are some of the questions I was struggling with throughout De’s master class on Friday. I know the person I want to show to the outside world, but sometimes I’m not sure if he is the person I truly am, or just someone I put on in the mornings before going to class. I’m not sure I know the answer to these questions any more now than I did before the class, but maybe I am starting to move, baby steps, in right direction.

 

Bunmi

Who am I? It’s a question I don’t like to get into, I found it pointless to dwell on. As a person I’d rather work on what I can improve on so the negative perspective of myself is what I can benefit from. Defining who I am is limiting myself and not allowing room for change. What are my beliefs and morals are things I aspire to become. I’d rather just let my actions speak for itself.

 

Sam:

Asking yourself who you are is pretty tricky. It’s always changing for starters, and to be honest, sometimes I’m not really sure I want to know. Also it’s something I think about quite a lot anyway in a reflective, self-improvement type way. It was nice seeing what other people thought though. Obviously no-one was going to be too harsh but the difference between how I see myself and the selection of words that others chose to write on my back was definitely encouraging. The main thing I’ll take from it is that what’s going on in my head isn’t half as messy as what I’m projecting out to the world. Which is good.

 

Robyn: For me, D’s masterclass really brought into focus the need for work/life balance. All but one of the attributes written on my back were work related – focused, ambitious, driven. Perhaps I need to work harder at projecting who I am aside from my career. But it was wonderfully stirring exposing myself to others’ perceptions as well as my own. Thanks for pushing me, D! X

 

Naomi: Crazy cool masterclass. I was expecting the worst, as you do. I was surprised because seeing how other people felt towards me not only gave me a bit of confidence but brought a slight tear to my eye. I checked my results and apparently I am Oprah Winfrey and the Dalai Lama’s love child. Maybe slightly exaggerated but I’ll settle for it.

 

Flavia: Since the beginning of this term I have reflected a bunch about who I am. Everyday I try to define who I am with no particular success. Who am I? What do I like? What do I dislike? Am I extroverted? Introverted? The reality is that I quite honestly don’t know yet. I know some things, but not enough – I’ve lived in this body for 22 years and still don’t know, how great is human life?

I found D’s ‘experiment’ very spot on, it was really interesting to see how one is perceived by other people, especially when these are new acquaintances/friends. I think we all might change our personality a bit when it comes to making first impressions. I was positively surprised by people’s comments although I wish we would’ve done this exercise later on during the year when people started to REALLY know each other.

 

Jesse: Was definitely an odd one. That feeling of walking around with writing on my back not knowing what it could be, even when they were all nice things, was one of the strangest few minutes in a long while! It was anticipation of something nice, but also slight worry that I might see myself in a completely different light to how everyone else sees me. I think I definitely need to be more of an optimist and be happy when I know nice things are being said about me.



Mona: For me, Deanna’s “Who am I?” masterclass was one of the most intense we had for the moment. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time and I think we learnt a lot about ourselves with this experience. I realized that I was more afraid of what I think of myself and how I would define myself more than what people could think of me. It made me realize that all I need is to be more confident and not be afraid of what people could think of me. Thank you so much for this hard but rewarding masterclass D!

 

Jacob: Deanna’s masterclass was definitely an eye opening experience for me. There’s something quite unsettling about having people you’re still getting familiar with write your personality traits on your back. It’s still early days and we were all only using positive words, but it’s nice to know that the conscious effort i make to act the way I do is received how I want it to be received. The exercise made me more certain as to who I really am, which is something that I know a lot of people can struggle with. It’s definitely a ‘skill’ that’s overlooked by most people, but can help immensely with finding your place in the world. I just hope that looking, acting and sounding like a child will have its strengths.

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