By Drew Davies

 

Alone in the dark…

 

…again.

 

Seems to be where I find myself whenever I have too long to work on a brief.

 

I’ll do a bit here and bit there and cruise towards the deadline comfortably – or so I tell myself.

 

Realistically I get the ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ syndrome. This lasts until the day I think I have no tomorrows left.

 

And so the night begins.

 

At this point I wonder why the past me is such a dick, sometimes I think he doesn’t care about me at all.

 

But it’s too late for that now, worrying will only slow me down and I got to get shit done son.

 

Wait…what?

 

What do you mean there’s 1 hour 37 minutes processing time?

 

And my printer is out of ink?

 

Of course Windows needs to restart in 5 minutes 21 seconds to install important updates. Make that 5 minutes 11 seconds.

 

Oh and that Windows Office subscription I have…well I don’t have it any more.

 

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Ah yes, I can feel the smoke hitting the bottom of my lungs and the nicotine giving me a light rush (yes future me, I am a dick as well).

 

2 o’clock is the peak.

 

After 12 I get tired but by 2 my body accepts my decision and blesses me with a second wind.

 

Before this I hold onto the hope I may still be able to get my beauty sleep.

 

But I’ll only get it if I hurry up so come on you idiot. Think. Think! What’s the answer? No that’s a silly idea you need to – wow wow. Slow down homes’. You ain’t gonna produce nuttin’ forcing it. No just sit back and accept that you’re in for the night.

 

Ok. Fine. Yeah. That’s pretty sweet actually. I got loads of time. I’m Mr Time Man! Watch out! I’m having a great time!

 

Me. In my room. With my highlighters and notepads and laptop and blue tack and scissors and my brainy brain.

 

I’m gonna get real lateral on this bitch. Literally so lateral that it’ll think it’s alliterate.

 

Comprende?

 

Wait, what?

 

5 o’clock. So, it’s that time of the night. I’ve come up with some interesting ideas but I’m starting to go insane. Don’t be fooled I’m no fool. It takes a real master of the night to realise when this point has come.

 

Fatigue is starting to kick in. I’m. thinking. pretty. slow. it’s hard to put thingstogether. And every time I have a good idea i get easily get de-hell is that a bat outside!?

 

So my heads gone. Now what?

 

Well I’m probably not going to produce any great ideas so what else can I do?

 

I could make a to do list for tomorrow before a 6 hour sleep.

 

If I still want need to work I’ll do robot tasks before hitting the sack. These are easy, often monotonous jobs that require little to no brainpower e.g. sewing, wrapping, highlighting blah blah blah. Kind of like jobs in other industries.

 

Before dosing off I’ll set five alarms spaced five minutes apart from each other and place my phone just far enough away from my bed that I’ll have to get up to turn it off.

 

Oh and I probably shouldn’t leave it this late next time…