DEAD Lines







By @a__pugh


What did you learn at school today, son?




What do deadlines mean to me?



the time by which something must be finished or submitted; the latest time for finishing something:

a five o’clock deadline.



a line or limit that must not be passed.



(formerly) a boundary around a military prison beyond which a prisoner could not venture without risk of being shot by the guards.


One of my credos is, Everything is Negotiable. But apparently deadlines are deadlines. Why do they exist? To me, they seem rather arbitrary. Perhaps they are. I’m honestly stumped. I asked my friends, why do we have deadlines?


“I wouldn’t do anything if there weren’t any deadlines.”


“It’s good practice, to show that you can do something properly in good time.”


In light of this, it seems deadlines make the world go round. A world without deadlines is like a race without a finish line, things would just drag on indefinitely. Nothing would get done. Ever.


Ok, so deadlines exist for good reason. But they do have to be so inflexible? We’re all reasonable people here on Planet Earth, who cares if something’s turned in a little late?


Mark Corrigan, of Peep Show fame has the answer I think. This is the episode Jurying, Mark has pretended to drop an E and has been up all night tolerating typical ‘drug talk’.


“And listen, while we’re at it, there are systems for a reason in this world, economic stability, interest rates, growth. It’s not all a conspiracy to keep you in little boxes, alright? It’s only the miracle of consumer capitalism that means you’re not lying in your own shit, dying at 43 with rotten teeth and a little pill with a chicken on it is not going to change that. Now come on, fuck off.”


This is the real world.


Deadlines are a necessary evil! They create a level playing field. They make sure the machinery of the modern world runs smoothly. It’s like a relay race; deadlines ensure we pass the baton, the work, the responsibility on to the right person at the right time!



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