Feeling Faint

I had never fainted before, but during this half-term, I did. On Wednesday I ventured into Soho to meet some SCA friends at the Dog and Duck in Soho and during my first pint, I wandered upstairs and joined the queue for the women’s bathroom. It was upon waiting for the toilet when I suddenly saw all green and a few moments later I woke up on the floor. There have been many theories proposed to me as to why this might have happened. Here are a couple of my favourites.

‘You haven’t used your brain this much before’

An interesting proposal from my mother, and a true statement. SCA has pushed my limits and I have learnt a ridiculous amount in the past few weeks. Learning how to think and produce creatively, strategy, type, teamwork, how to approach briefs, six hat thinking, time management…. The list goes on and on. I went to art school and have worked on illustration for about seven years, but I have never experienced such a rapid increase in the quality of my work. 

Maybe my mum’s theory is correct and if I use my brain at full capacity for a couple of weeks it is then forced to shut down. Perhaps, my mind is like a laptop, I only have a set amount of memory and occasionally need to have a reboot or update my IOS. However, instead of waking up to a U2 album downloaded on my brain, I just felt a bit weak.

‘You were too high up’ 

This was another gem from my mother on her discovering I was wearing high shoes at the time of the incident. I was, in fact, wearing my 70’s wooden boots which increase my height from about 5’9 to 6’1, I don’t know whether the air is much thinner four inches up. But perhaps I did receive altitude sickness from my dabbling in the six-foot club, these shoes are my Everest.

‘You were drunk’

INCORRECT, on arrival at the pub I had a mere five sips of cider before the mighty fall. However, I had a couple of drinks the night before, maybe those five sips awakened the remaining alcohol swimming around in my liver. 

‘It was a ghost’

My personal favourite, the Dog and Duck was built in the 18th century and named after the barbarous sport of duck-baiting. The hunters would release a Pinioned duck (a duck that has had the pinion joint removed so is unable to fly) into a pond, a dog would then be released and would dive down after the duck. The audience would bet on which animal would win and would often resort to throwing stones at the duck so the dog could catch it. Perhaps a ghostly rock was thrown at my head so a ghoulish dog could catch me. Or a malevolent duck wanted to take revenge on the humans that subjected it to such horror.

‘You needed the rest’

An incredibly true statement and I can safely say that after a week off my body and mind still feels terrible. But luckily with going into advertising, I know that this feeling will never stop until I die or retire, so at least I have that to look forward to. 

‘It was carbon monoxide’

From my very wise father, I fainted in the toilet and was standing next to the boiler cupboard, so it would make sense. Also, upon fainting when I opened my eyes, I was greeted by a very kind bar lady who had brought me some sugar and a coke, as I sat on the floor gobbling sugar lumps like a lame horse; she informed me that the exact same thing had happened the night before to another girl waiting for the bathroom. I do think this is the most probable cause, but I guess we will never know. 

If anyone else has a theory, please dm me on Twitter @OSHKcreates.

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