If we run out of time, where does it go?
I would like to apologise for the first-draftness of this blog post. As Marc says, pick your battles. This week I’ve picked the change.org brief over my SCAB (RENAME THE HITLER BEETLE #savehitleri #changethename). But ever the professional, here is a SCAB nonetheless, written from Brixton Blend the morning it’s due.
My New Year’s resolution was to be smarter with my time, and I have to say, I’m smashing it at the moment. I’ve got so much more done this week than usual (although still working on my Adobe tutorials habit, which at this rate will be crammed into Saturday and Sunday morning). I’ve brought lunch from home every single day this week, I’ve got to school at 9am on most days rather than the usual 10 past (those 10 minutes make all the difference), and Alec and I didn’t have to pull an all-nighter the day before the brief because we’ve got a beautiful little Pomodoro timetable and we’ve been following it. AND I’ve had time to cook in the evenings.
One unexpected benefit of this is that it’s improved my self-esteem. I suppose it’s because making a resolution is like making a promise to yourself. How betrayed do you feel when someone makes a promise to you and then goes and breaks it? Pretty shit. And that’s the feeling I’ve had most mornings before SCA as I run around like a headless chicken wolfing down breakfast and packing my bag after going to bed later than I said I would, and snoozing my alarm to try and cram some extra sleep in. And inevitably I forget something, or don’t have time to do something I wanted to do. Little decisions like that have a big knock-on effect. But now I’m starting to feel like I can trust myself to get stuff done. And that feels great.
As pathetic as it sounds, I think this sudden change has a lot to do with having a partner now. This resolution is nothing new, and I’ve failed more times than I can count. And I’m not talking after a few weeks, I’m talking days. Letting myself down is one thing, but I’d rather die than let someone else down. Yes, I’m a people pleaser.
I used to make the excuse that I’m just a disorganised person and will never be good with my time. It’s just the way I am. My mum would agree with this – she loves telling anyone who will listen about the number of times she’s dropped me off at the train station one minute before my train’s due because I’ve been running late, and watched me sprint to the platform and jump on as the whistle blows. But there really is no excuse. This stuff can be learned. Sure, it comes more naturally to some than others. And creative people are notoriously bad time-keepers. But with a timetable and good habits, we can be just as punctual and organised as the rest of them. Also, there’s nothing cute about wasting other people’s time with your lateness. Even if you don’t intend to, you’re sending them a clear signal that you just don’t value their time, or ultimately, them.
I only came to SCA to learn how to be cReAtIvE, but I’m learning important life skills too.