It’s not me, it’s you – By @iamvandale

By Adeline Vandale


It’s not me, it’s you.

This is how I broke up with my first boyfriend when I was 17.

With these words only, I made it very clear I had nothing to do with his mistakes.

And I made very clear what the role of these words were. What the meaning behind was.

One idea. Straight to the point.

There was no coming back.

This is how I kept going with my life.

Always saying what was on my mind.

No beating about the bush.

If you ask me, this is what I think.

If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t have asked.

So it comes strange to me, today, when I’m trying to explain an idea and end up mumbling and looking for my words.

“English is not your mother tongue, it’s understandable”.

It’s not. Trust me.

I’ve studied English at a high level – I mean, for France – for more than five years when I was younger.

I used to read Shakespear in old English and write essays of a length I never wrote in French.

I speak English more often than French and sometimes even end up looking for my words in the latter. Because all I have are the English ones.

I feel like I can express myself and my thoughts better in English than in French.

I even dream in English.

So when it comes to selling ideas and I lose it all, I’m just confused.

I feel very lucky to be working with Phil.

He’s an amazing copywriter but even more, he’s very patient and understanding.

When I’m not being clear, he waits until I explain anything well enough for him to get it.

But to me it’s not enough.

I need to make sure I can express what my thoughts are.

Make sure I can sell an idea to someone when he’s not around.

And defend our work.

I’ve been wondering, is it anxiety? Am I scared of judgement?

Either way, I’ve got to do something about it.

Rehearse. Write ideas down as it’s easier for me than talking. Anything.

Any other tips welcomed. Please. Help a girl out. 

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