My Polyamorous Relationship – By @katiebcreates
By Katie Burrell
My Polyamorous Relationship
For the past year and a half I’ve been in a three-way relationship. Me, my husband and advertising. It’s a challenging time for us. Advertising is a big part of our lives. The intensity of SCA means that I’m thinking about it an awful lot and being the worrier that I am means sometimes I find it really hard to stop. On the plus side, Andy knows what I’m going through, he empathises with how I’m feeling, but I’m starting to think that our ability to talk about anything other than advertising has got progressively worse.
We wake up in the morning — I might start talking about a masterclass we have coming up at school. I get home at night — we start talking about what we’ve been up to that day — then we’re both so wiped out that we’ll crash and go to sleep. I think if I’m honest my dog gets a more varied conversation out of me at the moment.
But we knew it’d be difficult. We worked together for 7 years in our previous job so I know we can handle both of us being on a similar career path. But it does feel particularly intense right now. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great being with someone who completely gets what I’m going through but on the other hand I think we’re both craving a bit of an escape from it all. A wee getaway together perhaps? Realistically that won’t be possible for a while. Our lack of money means that the best we can do at the moment is a weekend away staying at my Mum and Dad’s house. Romantic.
I’m so excited for the day we’re more financially stable and can go away on holiday, or go out for dinner if we fancy, maybe go to a concert. I think for now, we’re both just concentrating on getting through this year, hoping that once I’m on placement life together will feel a little more relaxed and balanced. And I’m so happy to be doing this now. Happy that I didn’t wait until we felt ‘a bit more settled.’ Life is way too short and I’m grateful that Andy gave me the small nudge I needed to take control and do something I can be passionate about.
We’ll have been together eleven years soon. In the grand scheme of things that isn’t very long but it’s a big chunk of the lives we’ve lived so far. And every year seems to race by so quickly, and that feeling is only going to get even more pronounced. I’ve changed, Andy’s changed, our relationship continues to change and I’m realising more and more that if you want to get the best out of life, you have to keep working on yourself and your relationships. Putting all of your energy into work and leaving nothing for anything else isn’t going to help get you to where you want to be. Making time for everything that’s important to you in your life will help you to do that.
So, it’s ok for advertising to be a big presence in our lives. But I’m going to try my best to shut it out sometimes, so we have more space to enjoy the other stuff that brought us together in the first place and to make room for new things too.