SCABs

The squeeze – By @AlexRob38667713

The squeeze

The squeeze is not particular to advertising, or advertising school. In fact, there will be many people across the width and breadth of our bustling world, who at one point or another have felt the nauseating and sickly embrace of a packed schedule. 

When I was told on the first day that we would be pushed to the limits of our ability and endurance I nodded along with the rest of the cohort, comfortable in the knowledge that this was likely some pre-term inspirational rhetoric, designed to elicit a feeling that we were attending the advertising equivalent of the CHERUB training programme (the dream lives on). However, the reassuring bubble of cynicism that I found myself happily floating along in was quickly popped when we received our first brief not two hours later. Never in my life have I wanted a cigarette as badly as when met the deadline and handed in it that piece of work. 

Not a day has gone past that has been significantly different from that first one- if anything it has got even more hectic. To illustrate the point here’s what a typical day at SCA looks like:

You walk into POP Brixton in the morning with a coffee and ask everyone how their weekend went. Content and looking forward to the day ahead, you chit chat for a few minutes or so – 

SURPRISE HERE’S A BRIEF

You finish the mornings classes and head out for lunch. On returning with your meal deal you check to see how everyone is getting on with the days work-

BOOM SECOND BRIEF! SUCK ON THAT

You pack up your bags after a long day and turn to leave, looking forward to home and a nice hot cup of tea-

BOOYAH SECRET AFTERNOON BRIEF STAY FOR ANOTHER HOUR 

You slip into bed, utterly exhausted and ready for a long night’s sleep. You yawn and lean over to your bedside table to switch off the lights-

KAWANBANGA NIGHTIME SURPRISE BRIEF YOU THOUGHT I HAD FINISHED DEAL WITH IT

And that’s just one day.

This week, as I mentioned previously, we have seven briefs. A part of me feels like Marc has purposefully done this to see if he can break anyone early. My mind goes back to the scene in Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, where that khaki horse (I forget his name) is getting a right frisking by the sassy cowboy in charge of the compound. But try as he might, the sassy cowboy cannot break the khaki horse. For the khaki horse’s spirit is too strong, too wild, and too goddamn free to be tamed by a mere man, be him sassy or otherwise. 

I think to survive on this course you must be like the khaki horse with the sassy cowboy on his back (who in this case represents all the briefs). You must stamp your hooves and throw your hair around, flare your nostrils and heave your bosom. Until the crazy man on your back is flung, humiliated and beaten, into the dirt. 

Another thing about the khaki horse is that he doesn’t mind getting tested now and again. Because he knows that that just comes with the job of being a khaki horse. People are going to test you. And ultimately that’s why the khaki horse applied to advertising school in the first place. Because he was sick of the broad American plains and desired a new challenge, and new pastures with it. 

So be like the khaki horse. And buck those sassy briefs off your back. 

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