SCABs

Things to write a press ad for – By @EllieDag

Things to write a press ad for:

  1. Baby shower-caps for Twins Magazine: Shampoo in eyes is twice as bad when there are four of them. Ear plugs. Baby monitors. 3D printer (double everything).
  2. Miniature Donkey Talk Magazine: Pygmy goats. Diversify. Tasty tasty carrots. Donkey toothbrush. Hoof polish. Donkey brush.
  3. Portable Restroom Operator Magazine: Portable loo roll. Nose guard. Bleach.
  4. Cranes Today Magazine: Helmets. A crane experience. Drones to fly through the cranes. Sandwich box. Suncream.
  5. Private Islands Magazine: Helicopters. Yachts. Savannah Cats.
  6. Sheep!: Sheep dogs. Sheep shearers. Farmers dungarees. Really good hay.
  7. OMFG Magazine (Office Meeting Facilities Guide): CCTV systems, amazing vending machine, cheaper coffee, boiling water taps. Smart gardens.
  8. Modern Drunkard Magazine: Beer. Online Pubs. Aldi own brand gin. Steins. Hidden hip flasks.
  9. Serial Killer Magazine: Ted. Bundy’s Tapes.
  10. Fashion Doll Magazine: Dolls house. Doll clothes. Doll clothes making kit. 
  11. Spudman: Potato Fertilisers. Knee caps. Weedkiller. Really nice trowels.
  12. Potato Review Magazine: Blankets for the potato beds.
  13. I love cats magazine: Cat food. Cat bowls. Cat beds. Bird food. Cat harnesses. Tuna Steak. Marmite. Cheese. Banisters. High cupboards. Small boxes. Cat cams. 
  14. Emu Today & Tomorrow: Emu Food. Glasses for birds. Emu pedicure set. 
  15. The Croquet Gazette Magazine: Vanish. Lots of vanish. 
  16. Model Airplane News Magazine: Display cabinets. Glue. Model people. 
  17. Lighthouse Digest Magazine: Paragliding holiday. Phone app that imitates the spinning light. Vintage lightouse parts. Old radios. Oil lamps. 
  18. Girls and Corpses Magazine: Jail. 
  19. Wild Tunnel International. Computational Aerodynamics: I think you have to understand someone to sell to them. 
  20. Parking review: road paint. Tube map of car parks. 
  21. Hoist. For factory. Crane professionals: Crane boosting engine? Engine oil. Crane servicing. 
  22. Poultry World: Chicken Nightlights. Artificial Hay. 
  23. Groundtastic: The only magazine for connoisseurs of UK football grounds. Football almanac. Grass fertiliser. Grass paint. Vintage footballs and tickets. Monopoly with football grounds. 

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