Two for One – By @MattJDKennedy
By Matthew Kennedy
Two for One
It’s the 29th and it feels like my holiday has only just begun. The SCA Christmas party seemed to initiate an illness that has latest until now and with new flatmates due to move in today my right arm has been converted into a paint brush, seemingly permanently. And so my headlines so far tell a pretty dull story. Along the lines of a paint tin full of vomit.
I have however achieved two things on my list. My passion project video is one and a haircut the second.
I could write a scab on each of these but that would not be time efficient so forgive me Marc, one will have to do. Time management you see.
1. My passion project – this went really well, as it stands we are knocking on the door of a million views but best of all is that the bike shop is giving me some replacement wheels as a thanks, which seems rather fitting. I don’t know if passion is the right word but doing stuff outside of SCA is fast becoming the most important thing in keeping me sane. The biggest change for me though is that I’m no longer embarrassed to share my ideas and to execute them. Before SCA I would always be hesitant to share a video I had made for fear of what others thought. Well bollocks to that. It’s almost as if SCA has given me some sort of creative licence.
2. My haircut – long standing followers of my haircut sagas can now rest at ease as the next instalment presents itself. Whilst picking up some paint (of course) I thought I would try and kill a few birds by 1 getting my haircut and 2 collecting a dot. Step forward Turkish barber. More like step back in fact as I had to jostle my way past the guy to get in the shop whilst he filled his lungs. What followed was far less traumatic than the Indian barber from yesteryear, but none the less shocking. In the 30mins I was there I experienced no less than 10 different hair removal techniques. Obviously the Turk took a shine to me and as a hairdresser thought best to flaunt his skills in a bid to attract my glance and number. Well he got my glance that’s for sure. That was after he chopped most my eyebrows off with a bare razor and then proceeded to use some sort of firelighter to burn hair off my neck before dipping my head forward into a basin, I was half expecting to be water boarded. It’s no wonder the whole place didn’t explode with the firelighter to be honest as I was struggling for breathe in the smog of aftershave. Add to all this the unstoppable sweating episode I was experience partly due to my illness and partly due to what seemed to be a sheep skin blanket I had been wrapped in. Pigs in blankets I feel your pain. Anyway after the third most stressful experience of my life (the 1st being a cycling massage and the 2nd a £5 Indian haircut) I stumbled out into the city, sweating like a pig and smelling like a tart, safe in the knowledge that I had a dot firmly in my grasp. Might try an art gallery next time.
In other news…
1. I had an idea in the shower but it wasn’t very good.
2. I travel to Bristol shortly for New Years and this should provided plenty of sun esq headlines.
3. My new flatmate is polish and works in Selfridges.
4. This is an exert from my rather bizarre Christmas Day httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cobjt9Trhg&app=desktop