A 2.0 scientific approach to overcoming self-doubt. – By @LagoonLynx

A 2.0 scientific approach to overcoming self-doubt.

Isn’t this nice ? 

You are surrounded by creative teachers and creative students working on creative briefs, all being their creative authentic selves in a creative way. 

That creativity frenzy takes over and you look around, well in my case you look at the screen, and even though you can’t really see what’s going on, your mind builds a narrative where everyone has potential, and you, well, you surely are already at peak and not that great. The idea that you’re not in the right place creeps in. 

You might be a fervent relier on astrology and A.I. tarot readings whenever insecurity lingers in (it’s indeed heartwarming to hear all the major arcanas conspire for your spiritual awakening sometimes) but for once the urge is too strong and divination won’t do. You need to find comfort with something tangible, that at least relies on an entity closer than the solar system. Science might be it, they got to do pretty significant things thanks to it. But overwhelmed by the amount of articles on creativity, you decide to dip your toe by skimming through buzzfeed-like articles claiming they know what differentiates the crowd from über-creative people, hoping you’ll recognize yourself in their lists of essential characteristics. 

“Creative individuals have a great deal of energy, but they are also often quiet and at rest.”

“Creative individuals have a combination of playfulness and discipline, or responsibility and irresponsibility.”

“Creative individuals are also remarkably humble and proud at the same time”

“Generally, creative people are thought to be rebellious and independent” 

You feel better, on the verge of glee. You actually suit the description quite well. After a few seconds, you realize you have never encountered someone who confessed “you know what, deep down all I want is to conform and lent my dependent sleazbaggy self shine” (But wait, didn’t they mention that creative people are the most skeptical of optimists ?) 

Years of self doubt management lead you to compulsively if ever mechanically take IQ tests online, to the point where you’ve mastered the art of pattern recognition on patterned shapes. This wasn’t pure lost time because now you also seem to have built a strong intuition for spotting websites that ask for credit card informations to let you access your personalized results. Pattern recognition, right ?  

Now you’re quite frustrated you couldn’t find a leaked Rorschach test because you surely would have nailed it. But MBTI, Big Five, Enneagram, you’ve done them all and now the loophole of psychological tests leads you to facial recognition ability testing. At least you’ll know if you can confidently apply as a bouncer despite your lack of shoulder width,  if you happen to not make it as an anxious creative. 

But crippled with guilt by the idea of denying entry to misfits that remind you of your teenage self ( no surprise here, you scored high on emotional intelligence Q&As), your optimistic self decides to whisper to your overworked prefrontal cortex that there must be, even for an Aquarius INFJ type 4 wing in 9 whose IQ varies between 130 and 158 according to non-reliable but free sources, a place to fiddle in. 

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