SCABs

After the screaming stops – By @MadStandish

By Maddy Standish

 

After the screaming stops

My Christmas holiday has been spent overindulging on Austrian food, putting on weight and drinking heavily with my family. It has been brilliant and a much needed break.

 

Of the tasks Marc set us over this trip, I chose one involving a film. A cop out, perhaps. Oh no. Very difficult indeed. I love telly. So much. I can’t help it and I’m unashamed. Which means there’s a lot of movies that I would consider watching. Good, bad, sad, serious, documentaries, animations, horrors, b-movies, big budgets etc.

 

I even watched Cars 2 in German while on holiday because the wifi wasn’t working and my bedfriend was snoring. Having not seen the first one, I thought I wouldn’t get what was going on but it was overall enjoyable though I maintain my indifference to vehicles. This SCAB was going to be about the hard work beating talent, semiotics, voice actors and alternate universes. That is not the route that was taken, however.

 

I watched Bros: After The Screaming Stops mockume- sorry, documentary.

 

It wasn’t what I would have considered as I’ve literally never heard of Bros before, as they were before my time and my mum wasn’t one of the fainting fan girls featured in the film. My dad whacked it on and pretty quickly, I was totally sucked in.

 

Oh my, was I glad I tuned into it. Possibly one of the unintentionally funniest things I’ve ever watched.

 

Matt and Luke Goss, the twins who make up 2/3 of the group, squabbled frequently about petty things and reminded me of my twin brothers  – except with 3000% more pride involved. You cannot possibly pick a side to be on because both egos are sky high but manifest in different ways.

 

Comedy aside, there was a lack of story about their rise, fall and the full shebang – allegedly there’s a third member called Craig/Ken who I don’t believe was mentioned more than once and wouldn’t believe existed had I not Googled him. While segments were emotional, the story about their sister’s tragic and premature death did make my eyes well up.

 

It was overall comedy gold and generally overshadowed by the twins delivery of pure David Brent and Alan Partridge performances, completely accidentally. The more serious they tried to be, the more ridiculous it became.  Luke with his distressed band tees fresh off the rack and Matt’s creepy, ASMR bedtime neckerchief routine/fetish were beautiful tropes that painted them into caricatures.

 

Matt Goss is my new favourite philosopher. A truly profound individual with an incredible brain that spews pseudo-philosophical nonsense. Some quotes for your consideration, not spoiling anything because his delivery is what make them iconic:

 

“The letters H.O.M.E. are so important because they personify the word home”

 

“I made a conscious decision because of Stevie Wonder – not to be superstitious.”

 

“CNN is the thinking man’s reality show.”

 

“He was a rectangle and I was a rectangle and we made a square which makes a fortress.”

 

“Rome wasn’t built in a day. And fuck me that’s true… but we don’t have the time Rome had.”

 

I believe the highly coveted rating of 100% on Rotten Tomatoes is completely deserved.

 

10/10 would recommend.

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