By Phillip Laskaris

ASSORTED OPINIONS

It’s important to have an opinion, especially in advertising (that’s an opinion right there). We’re selling products and if we’re indifferent about them, why in the world would anyone buy from us? You got to have a feeling about everything. 

I sometimes struggle to figure out exactly how I feel about an event, a product, or service and that makes my job harder. I struggle because I genuinely don’t care, or because I don’t want to disappoint someone if my opinion is contrary to theirs. That’s bullshit though. There is no reason I should hold back my thought just to be liked, it’s a bad habit I need to break. I’ve decided to list a few things I have an opinion on and if you disagree? Come at, bro. Let’s have a debate. Change my opinion. And if you hate me after reading this? Good. At least you have an opinion.

First, a classic:

Pineapple is an incredible pizza topping.

Twizzlers are better than Red Vines. (I don’t know if you have both in the UK, but it needs to be said.) 

Jelly is clearly the better half of a PB&J. 

People who wear their backpacks on a crowded train deserve nothing. 

Superman is wack.

Episodes I, II, and III of Star Wars really aren’t that bad, in fact, they’re great and parts of them are better than parts of Episode VI. 

If you prefer reading a physical book because it “feels right”, you’re lying. You only prefer actual books so people can see that you’re reading, and it makes you look smart and different. I know this, because I do it. It’s still wrong.

M&Ms are overrated. 

You don’t need to wash rice. 

Uno is the best family card game. 

The Man with the Golden Gun is a top five James Bond film. 

If your name is Alice you probably like the smell of your own farts.

Blueberries are SO much better than chocolate chips in pancakes. Chocolate chips dry out the pancake and makes it almost impossible to enjoy. Blueberries are little pockets of juice waiting to explode and blend with maple syrup. 

You can wear pants like 10-15 times before they need to be washed. If they’re jeans, even more. 

Having posters, and trinkets, and decorations around your house – A.K.A. clutter – doesn’t make it home-y or cute. 

Dogs and cats shouldn’t be allowed on beds. You wouldn’t go on your bed with trainers on and shave your head, why do you let dogs and cats tread and shed all over your linens?

You shouldn’t celebrate an anniversary less than one year. That’s why it’s called an anniversary.

If there is no watermelon already, bringing watermelon is the best item to bring to a BBQ. 

“Kristopher” is “Christopher” spelled incorrectly. 

You don’t have “OCD”, you’re just being annoying.

 Crazy coloured socks aren’t a personality trait.

That’s enough for now. It’s important to remember that these are just opinions, my own opinions. And if you disagree with them, let me know why. Tweet me at @laskarisphillip. I was banned from twitter because they thought I was a bot, so people tweeting at me would really help my image.