Big Tunes for a Merry Crankmas – By @pzelizalde

By Patxi Elizalde

Big Tunes for a Merry Crankmas

Christmas is right around the corner. And Christmas time in London isn’t very different to what I’m used to in New York. Santa hats and festive sweaters are no longer unusual sights on your morning commute. Bright lights garnish packed streets all over, and stars and tinsel are everywhere. They even both celebrate Santa Con… (For those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s a wonderful yet exhausting Saturday in December when Santa and his crazy amigos come out of hiding to get as fucked up as possible for a day.) So through booze and clothing, Christmas in London and New York are very similar… This is not new news, and it’s a great thing for me because it makes for an easy transition. There is one thing, though, that I really wish was left behind in the US… WHY DOES EVERYONE LOVE THE SAME OLD CHRISTMAS MUSIC SO DAMNED MUCH???

Everywhere I go, not just London, not just New York, but even in the Philippines, everyone is obsessed with Christmas music. “It’s finally that time of the year again!” they say as they cue up ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ for the 4052049080^th time, “This is the one time of the year they never get old!” … they got old in January the year after they were released.

Anyway, needless to say, I am not a huge fan of the whole Christmas music craze. I’m not trying to be a grinch, I’m just a music lover that needs a little diversity in my selection every once in a while! I’m all for the classics – Frank Sinatra’s ‘Let It Snow’, Bing Crosby’s ‘Winter Wonderland,’ Irving Berlin’s ‘White Christmas’ – but c’mon, let’s change it up a bit! Why do we need to take these amazing songs by such talented, timeless artists, and play them over and over and over and over and over and over again from December 1^st to the 25^th, just so that we can’t play them again at any point throughout the year without bleeding profusely out of our ears?

You may think I’m being dramatic, but I’m just trying to get people to think differently about Christmas music. So many artists make great Christmas songs each year, but they get overshadowed by the same group of 20 songs made 50 years earlier! Every year!

Well, in an effort to facilitate this change and get people to stop playing the same shit, I’ve created a short playlist with more ~interesting~ Christmas party music to get Santa Claus hittin the quan with a fat bottle of Hennessy in his right and Mrs. Claus’ velvety caboose in his left.

Merry Crankmas and a shady new year to all, and to all a good night J

Best wishes,

Filipino Santa

St. Brick Intro – Gucci Mane

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuBbGyWSc-c

Player’s Ball – Outkast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFofKGKlWo4

Christmas In Hollis – Run-DMC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR07r0ZMFb8

Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto – Nate Dogg, Snoop Dogg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVkg5FM59NA

Christmas Rappin’ – Kurtis Blow