David Guetta’s Dark Night Of The Soul







By @robinsanderson






I have embedded a video of David Guetta that I think you should watch.


In case you don’t have the capacity to watch the video, let me describe it, and him, to you.


David Guetta, 47, French, is a professional DJ and producer of electronic music. In 2004 he released the album Guetta Blaster.


The video shows Guetta approximately 4 minutes into his headlining set at Tomorrowland in Belgium, the biggest electronic music festival in the world.

The crowd is a vast sea, the cacophonous sound rolls over the waves like a foghorn.


This is a man at the apex of his professional life. The audience hang on his every sound.


And it all goes Pete Tong.


David starts to wilt on stage. A thousand yard stare gazes out through his glassy eyes.


He inhales quickly and his eyes widen, as if he has been struck by a realisation.


He has started to realise the craven musical chicanery he is engaged in.


A teeth clenching mercenary flown around the world pretending to play heavily derivative shite to teenage philistines.


This is David Guetta’s dark night of the soul, and the Devil never told him it would be this difficult.


Trying to gain measure of his crisis, he glances to the crowd. He cocks to the side as if giving himself a better view of his fate.


He sees that he is a total c***.


He puff his cheeks out as this sinks in. Yep. But then what can he do? He’s in too deep. There’s only one option left for him in this world. It’s the one thing he no longer has the stomach to do. But he has no choice.


He drops the beat.

And thousands of credulous idiots jump to the sound.



How about you, reader? Are your audience idiots?


(Disclaimer: A dramatic interpretation played for laughs. In reality, he was probably off his face on Ketamine.)


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