SCABs

Dear Mr. Todd Howard

Hi Todd, I hope the 7 billion dollars from Microsoft is treating you and the folks at Bethesda well.  I’ve been a patron of your company since 2013 when I bought a copy of the Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion, Game of the Year Edition, a game which I thoroughly enjoyed. In 2014 I bought a copy of the Elder Scrolls V “Skyrim” which I adored at the time. I must’ve spent north of 3,000 travelling across Skyrim’s pixelated tundra at twenty-five frames per second, slaying bandits and civilians alike as I, the fabled dragonborn did battle with big lizards with fiery, and on occasion, icey breath.

Having bought Skyrim 4 times over and having spent a disgusting amount of time playing, re-playing, re-re-playing & re-re-re-playing your record breaking 2011 hit I’ve come to the conclusion that it is in fact, an abysmal RPG.

Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy Skyrim for what it is or even think it’s a good game…it just means you’re wrong.

If I was to go through everything wrong with Skyrim I’d be here till the cows come home, so to save us both a bit of time and myself a bit of what precious sanity I have left, I’m gonna bullet point a couple things, in no particular order, from minor gripes to fundamental, world breaking, borderline criminal oversights. Shall we begin?

  • For a reason the 9 Divines are yet to figure out Skyrim decided to ditch the much-loved class system form its far superior predecessor, Oblivion.  The removal of the class system means that you, the player, have the ability to effortlessly switch between combat styles; meaning that a mage can bash your skull in with a mace without breaking a sweat should they so choose.
  • Nazeem.
  • It’s stupidly easy to become the ArchMage of the College of Winterhold, the leader of the Companions, the leader of the Dark Brotherhood & the leader of the Thieves Guild.
  • Solitude, the capital port city of Skyrim is home to just sixty-two people. Just sixty-two people.
  • For some context, Skyrim (the game) is set in the 201st of the fourth era in the middle of a bloody civil war sparked by the Stormcloak Rebellion against the Third Empire. Now, the war is constantly being talked about by NPCs but it’s nowhere to be seen. Highways are mostly clear of the scars battle, wearing an Imperial Legion uniform in the heart of Stormcloak territory incurs no penalty and assassinating the Emperor has no effect on the ongoing civil war.
  • The embarrassingly limited options available to resolve Paarthurnax dilemma.
  • Almost every quest boils down to a glorified fetch quest or mind-numbing dungeon clearing exercise.
  • Villagers, guards and nobility alike will, at the drop of a Septim, viciously and sadistically murder the saviour of Skyrim, the Dragonborn and slayer of Aludin the world eater if they decide to kill a chicken.

With little hope left for the future of this once great franchise,

Kat

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