SCABs

Do something you don’t like – By @Orla27Marie

Orla O'Connor

By Orla O’Connor

 

Do something you don’t like

 

 

We were challenged to do something that we don’t normally do or like doing.  So what did I do I went on to Netflix and picked the crappiest film I could find.  It was loosely a horror film, a genre that I don’t particularly care for, as I like sleep, so obviously it’s the worst horror film ever.

 

It was called The Final Girls.  It was about a single Mum, aspiring actress that was known for being in a shit slasher film.  Her daughter acts as the adult in the relationship (which I always find weird in American films as they over do it).  About 5 mins in there is a huge car crash and the mother dies.  Max, the daughter, agrees to go to a tribute night of camp slasher films her best friend’s brother is throwing, in return he will write her assignments this year.  

 

Lesson 1 of shit America film – Be careful what you put your name to because when you’re gone that all people will remember you for.  Personally I don’t want to be remembered for a crap slasher film.  

 

Predictably the whole cinema nearly dies from what looks like an accident but we all know it’s not.  And somehow they all end up in the actual crap slasher film.  

 

Lesson 2 of shit American film – follow your instincts.  Your gut will usually guess what’s going on.  

 

So obviously because they are stuck in the film Max gets to see her Mum again.  All very touching.  Billy, the killer, starts killing the new guys off too.  And every time they try to run away from the camp the film loops so they physically can’t leave.  You find out Billy was a kid at Camp year ago and he was bullied by counselors and kids.  Eventually pranks went too far and he got seriously hurt.  He returned later to get his revenge on counselors ever since.  

 

Lesson 3 of shit American film – What you do comes back to haunt you.  Remember all your actions have repercussions and all you have is your reputation.  

 

They end up screwing up the story line by meddling, and so the end girl that kills Billy died so now he can’t die.  So they nominate Max to be the new end girl because she is a virgin (Yep, original).  So they set up a trap to lure Billy by getting the slutty one to take her clothes off.

 

Lesson 4 of shit American film – Try and outthink your enemy.  Come up with a plan to outsmart your opponent, think more Dave Trott rather than this film.  

 

Lesson 5 of shit American film – Don’t walk through doors that open by themselves.  I think this is more like life advice, door that open by themselves that aren’t obviously automatic are bloody creepy.

 

The plan doesn’t go well more people die and Max is the only one left.  Max find Billy’s lair to finish the whole thing off.  After an emotional-ish goodbye with her mother’s character she finishes the job, in a weird fight scene.  

 

Lesson 6 of shit American film – Although we should learn from the past some things should remain there.  Like the 80’s camp slasher genre I mean it really is crap.  

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