Gooners made me starve. By @iamvandale

By Adeline Vandale



Gooners made me starve.

For the last weekend of the term, I was the lucky one to grab Marc’s tickets to the game of Arsenal VS Newcastle.

Keep in mind I’ve never been to a game ever and the only thing I vividly remember about football is Zidane head butting an Italian because that last one insulted his mum. Rude.

Head butt well deserved.

The trick of getting those tickets was to write a SCAB about the dots collected during this afternoon.

And dots I did collect, my friends.

But this SCAB is only about one in particular. 

Because for the first time in my life I will make a football allegory. 

And I think we should pop Champagne for this. 

But let’s talk about this later.

So, let’s be blatantly honest: the game was meh. 

Arsenal did win, which apparently was surprising for how bad they’ve been lately. 

But to be fair, if they had lost, I would’ve felt better.

There’s something I picked up recently about myself: I hate lazy winners.

What I mean by that is where my football allegory will start. 

So bear with me.

You see, Arsenal scored/goaled – f*ck knows what exactly I’m supposed to say here – quite early in the game. 

Which means they knew they had a chance to win – duh. 

So what did they do?

Instead of playing harder and keep attacking willing to score more to make sure they would win, they simply decided to defend themselves and make sure NC wouldn’t take back control of the situation.

Around ten minutes before the end, the game got boring as hell because they actually weren’t even doing anything. Just waiting for the game to end and go home. 

I’m here to watch a game blood. 



And that’s where I clicked. Where the penny dropped. Ka-ching, my friends.

Probably because Marc always finds a way to get into our brain, I heard him whispering to my ear: the ones who succeeded the best were always the hungriest.

And then I remembered the only sentence I’ve ever thought about getting tattooed – but didn’t because lame – “Stay hungry, stay foolish” from Steve Jobs. 

So when Marc told us that PB4 was not “the last brief of the term” but one of the brief of the year, I realised that never again I would let myself go. Exhausted or not. I will not play it like Arsenal – soz Gooners.

My friends, let me tell you that I understood about me this year:

I’m not hungry. 

I’m f*cking starving.

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