By Joel Buckley

 

 

My last scab was a little morose so this is an attempt to redress the balance…

 

We’ve been doing improv comedy at school and it is tough.

 

However, occasionally a few gems have fallen across my path, and the recipient has been somewhat unappreciative, and doesn’t find me as hilarious as I do.

 

So I shall share my gold…

 

I was told I smelt nice by a nice young man at school – “What aftershave are you wearing?” he asked.

 

“It’s my camping perfume,” said I. “Calvin Klein Intense”.

 

(I’ll pause while you regain bladder control)

 

Then another cracker…

 

My daughter came home from school, “What did you do today?” I enquired.

 

“I.C.T.” was the monotone reply.

 

“Brilliant,” I quipped, “and what did it look like?”

 

(sigh)

 

However, these examples pale into a muddy shade of insignificance when compared to today’s gem that landed during a conversation with Malcolm, an elderly neighbour, about a comment he’d made to another aging resident.

 

“Maggie from number 60’s taken offence” he moaned.

 

That’s no good,” I replied “She’ll have to bring it back”.

 

Unfortunately Malcolm didn’t get to appreciate the depth of humour that had just been served to him, as he’s profoundly deaf.

 

Or at least I presume he must be, because he definitely didn’t laugh.