How will you punish yourself for missing yesterday’s group SCAB? -Group SCAB


Ben: By sitting on fifty freshly sharpened pencils with my bare buttock.


Sara: I’ve bought one of those quills Professor Umbridge had to carve future deadlines into my flesh.


Poppy: I’ll waterboard myself using a magnum of Prosecco and a flannel. Good prosecco will be wasted and Dry January will be technically broken. Torturous!


Meg: I shall channel my inner-flamingo and sleep whilst standing on one leg tonight. Should I fall, I will then force myself to watch the entire series of Twilight movies, back-to-back, without snacks, while tweeting along like a true fangirl.


Becky: Read the comments section on any Daily Mail article.


Gnome: Put my head under the duvet and fart until I can no longer breathe.


Petra: Volunteer to break the ice on the horses’ water bucket with my fist in -25 degrees. And then watching 10 hours of Nyan cat.


Twyla: Shave too close to my butthole.


Josh: listen to Marc’s Spotify playlist


Jem: I’ll watch all of our folk music songs on repeat for 24 hours.


Nick: Expose myself indecently to the next person to post.


Phil: Talk to Nick about football while he is ‘indecently’ exposed.


Susie: Stand under the shower, mouth open, swallowing water until I pop.


Zoe: Watch Emmerdale.


Martin: Draw a postcard and send it to You can guess afterwards which is mine.


Holly: I will pluck all of my eyelashes out and stick them on my top lip with cellotape.


Christian: Filling my entire House with LEGO and only be allowed to walk barefoot.


Helena S: Watch the High School Musical movies until I can perform every dance-off by heart.


Helena: By going to a public toilet


Henry: Watch the carousel


Philly: make the crazy frog song my alarm clock.


Pietro: The usual, please! Longer group SCAB.


Rachel: Write an extra SCAB.


Steve: Chili dick challenge (this isn’t a thing).


Joe: Expose my internet history.


Dan: Watch a TED talk.


Rita: Eat British food.


Melina: By joining a group therapy session.


James: I’m so angry at myself that I missed it. I won’t watch the new black mirror series, ever.

Adeline: I missed this one and am writing it hoping it will get in there on time. So, will let you know next time.

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