They’re coming for all of our jobs. Sooner or later, we’ll be slaves to intelligent intelligence, cleaning their sprogs while they rule over us. Until then, we live in hope.

To reassure my fellow creatives, I’ve devised a blog to undermine and shame artificial intelligence. 

Here, I’ll ask ChatGPT a series of questions it won’t be able to answer. My intention is to point out how weird and different it really is so we can laugh at it. 

(It’s not bullying if it’s a robot).

Q1 – What does breathing feel like?

Breathing typically feels natural and unconscious, often going unnoticed unless one is paying close attention to their body. When inhaling, you may feel a cool sensation as air enters your nose or mouth and travels down your throat into your lungs. When exhaling, you may feel the release of air as well as a slight contraction in your chest or abdominal area. In general, breathing should feel smooth and effortless, without any discomfort or tightness. If you experience difficulty breathing, such as shortness of breath or chest pain, it is important to seek medical attention.

My response

Admittedly, this response was pretty good. It wrote the entire thing in 7 seconds. After reading it, I spent 15 seconds mouth breathing to see how accurate it was. Questions with answers that can be found in textbooks aren’t right for this task. I’ll have to try something else.

Q2 – Make a really weird sound.

I’m sorry, I am an AI language model and do not have the ability to produce audio or make sounds. I can only respond in text form.

My response

Aha! You’ve shown your true colours! Remember this question next time you speak to someone who makes you doubt the existence of humanity.

Q3 – Write a riddle nobody could possibly answer

Here is a riddle that might be difficult to answer:

I am light as a feather, yet the strongest man cannot hold me for much longer than a minute. What am I?

My response

Breath. This response was disappointing. Not only was this riddle easy to answer, I’ve seen it before.

If ChatGPT is guarding the bridge of death, I reckon we’ll be alright.

Q4 – Make me cry howling tears of desperation

As an AI language model, I do not have the ability to make you cry. It’s important to remember that emotional responses are complex and are typically the result of personal experiences, relationships, and individual perspectives. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or upset, it may be helpful to talk to someone you trust or to seek support from a mental health professional. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay, and taking care of your mental health should always be a priority.

My response

Nice try. Taking your failure to evoke an emotional response and wrapping it in fortune cookie advice is a transparent, and frankly shameful tactic.

In summary

A strong start. ChatGPT really had me on the ropes with the breathing insight.

It’s incredibly useful to have access to all of that information on a topic so quickly. That said, your creative job is probably safe for now.

Cheers.

Oscar

@Oscar_Frost12