I could have done things differently – by @JacobDeFig
By Jacob de Figueiredo
Hi gang, it’s a strange feeling finally sitting down to write this SCAB after what could only be described as a mixed emotions kinda summer, a rollercoaster fuelled by ups and downs, and if I’m being honest with myself, mainly downs. I was apart of last year’s intake, Fat Penguin. But due to unseen circumstances, I’ve found myself retaking the year at SCA. I know it’s the right thing for me to do, I think the reason this SCAB is so delayed is that throughout my summer I always thought that the second I sit down and start to write this SCAB is when the reality of my situation really begins to set in. I tried my hardest to purge my body of all things SCA over this break, so that I can start the year with a completely fresh body and most importantly, mind. The school really does take a toll on your mental well being and after being spat out the other end, dazed and confused I wanted to disconnect myself as much as possible before starting fresh.
But here we are, the SCAB’s being written and the reality of my situation has set in. Every word I type is another past SCA memory that gets resurrected. Your time at school goes incredibly quickly, but when you have a sit and reflect on the year, it feels like a lifetime. It’s an absolutely incredible, life changing experience but at times it’s so disconnected from my life at home that having a 2 month break has made me anxious about what to expect going into my second year.
A lot of my experience last year was filled with hesitation and uncertainty on my part, even though on paper I had a good year and my reasons for retaking were completely my own, I still know I could have done things differently. I’ve had time to take a deep breath and have a think about this, what would I have done differently, how can I smash this out the park and prove to myself that this is the world I belong in, what work do I want to be doing, what is my purpose. Where WILL I be in 5 years time? All super fun, super confusing stuff.
Anyway, this SCABs been pretty depressing to say the least, hopefully it doesn’t give off the wrong impression to my new classmates, I’m a gr8 m8 honest. And to my Fat Penguins, love you all. See you in the industry.