It seems that I’m in the minority of the Honey cohort having not done a SCAB along the lines of “If everyone at SCA was X.” Whether it be cakes, cheeses, or tarots, we’ve had quite the variety. I felt like I was missing out on something here. I needed to do one of these SCABs myself. So I got to thinking what I can compare people to, what do I know inside out that will allow me to make this deep analysis?

“What if everyone at SCA was a part of my body?”

Eureka. Let’s see how many parts of my body I can think of before I have to get crude.

Aimee – My middle fingers. Aimee takes no nonsense. Backs herself to the end. And if anyone stands in her way, it’s just middle finger up and move on!

Alec – My left knee. This part of my body is now scarred from constant grazes. Childhood tumbles, slide tackles in football or falling off my bike. My left knee means adventure, fun and not being afraid to pick up a few grazes on the way. This perfectly captures Alec’s nature.

Ali – The back of my neck. I’ve never seen Ali in the flesh, only on screen, much like I’ve never seen the back of my neck with my own eyes. But, thanks to my short hair it’s a nice blank canvas where Ali can create some of his beautiful art.

Andrew – My eyelids. Partly just to make a joke about the time Andrew fell asleep, but also they are pretty important. They keep the eyes fresh, and Andrew does this with his entrepreneurial knowhow.

Anna – My diaphragm. Crucial for singing, and Anna is the resident singer. But also an important muscle for breathing life into everything.

Annie – My cheeks. Annie just brightens your day with her cockney charm and big smile. She’s a cheeky character, a proper charmer.

Anu – My spine. Without Anu, we’d all collapse. She kept us going through D&AD, often sending messages to check everyone is okay. 

Charlie H – My tongue. The smooth talker and a slippery character, that’s our Charlie. Also he’s a man with good taste. He’s a good taste bud(dy).

Charlie L – My temples. Charlie is a proper deep thinker. When I think too much my temples hurt and I feel like I have to massage them. If I thought as deeply as Charlie does I’d be massaging them a lot.

Dave – My funny bone. Dave’s bellowing laugh can be heard from anywhere within a mile’s radius of Pop Brixton. Dave resembles funnies and good times. You can’t help laughing when you knock your funny bone.

Ella – My lungs. Ironic because she’s a filthy smoker, but is also a breath of fresh air. Whether in her work or just for a chat, she always comes with something new to say.

Emma – My eyes. Emma approaches everything like she is seeing it for the first time, always wanting to put a new perspective on it. She has her eyes open to anything.

Euan – My gut. Euan’s always coming out with insights and ideas, never over-thought, just from the gut. Goes with his instinct.

Fred – My heart. Fred has my heart always..

Gwen – My right calf. A few years ago I tore my calf playing football. I had to go through physio and build the strength back up before I could do anything on it again. Gwen is resilience, both mental and physical. Knock her down and she’ll get back up again.

Hope – My nose. Because Hope nose how to sniff out a pun.

Issie – My left index finger. That’s my primary pen holding finger. Issie is a great writer, so it’s only right that she’s the digit that writes.

Jamaal – My moles. I’m quite a moley bloke. Scattered across me like dots ready to be connected. Jamaal’s the master of this. He has a deep bank of references that he’s always ready to draw inspiration from.

Jess – My eyebrows. Any crude joke I make will usually be followed by the signature eyebrow raise from Jess. However, with her dry sense of humour, especially as seen in the stand-up night, she can raise a few eyebrows too.

Jodie – My thumbs. For a start Jodie can do anything. Queen of scamps and not a bad writer either. Also she’s just constantly thumbs up. Pure positivity, you’ll never hear her moan or complain.

Juliette – The rest of my toes apart from my big toes (see Pascaline). Because Juliette will always keep you on your toes with her quick wit.

Lara – The palm of my hand. The palms of our hands are kind of a piece of art. Lots of interconnecting lines, and if palm readers are to be believed they all tell a story. Lara tells stories through her art.

Liv – My left hand. Like my right-hand man, but I’m left handed. My right hand is pretty useless so that wouldn’t work. Everything I do at SCA I do with my left hand, whether it be writing or attempting to scamp.

Molly – My eyelashes. I often get complimented on my long, dark eyelashes. Just like Molly can make anything look better, my eyelashes make my over-featured face look better.

Nabeel – My elbows. I often lean on my elbows, and Nabeel is the kind of guy you can rely on and lean on when needed.

Nesu – My biceps. That’s insulting to Nesu given my lack of bicep compared to his guns. But on more masculine men than I, biceps resemble strength, and Nesu’s got a lot of it. Not just physical, he’s tough as nails on the inside too.

Nicole – My vocal chords. Nicole can talk for days. But why the hell not when you’ve got as much to say as Nicole does?!

Oscar – My armpits. I’m very ticklish so I giggle when tickled. Oscar’s a funny guy. He often tickles me with his words.

Pascaline – My big toes. Difficult to balance without your big toes, and Pascaline is an inspiration when it comes to balance. Going through SCA, a hybrid writer and art director, whilst raising her children. And she seems to do it with such composure and coolheadedness.

PJ – My heels. They’ve grown tough from the miles they’ve walked. They remind me of places I’ve been, experiences I’ve had, but also of where I’m going. A big past, a bigger future.

Rohmarra – The top of my head, because Roh is top dog. She’s already working as a creative, and has the cutest dog too. 

Tara – My ears. Tara is softly spoken, not one to waste words, and they say when you’re not talking, you’re listening.

Travis – My left foot. I’m a left-footed footballer and Travis is the ultimate baller. Packs a punch and can find pockets of space. Travis will go further than I can kick a ball with my left foot.

Xavier – My belly button. Kind of weird and kooky, but then when I have a proper look at it I’m like woah that’s cool. Big fan of my belly button. Fun to play with.

That took way longer than it should have. 

Rob x

@rdwest21