Rosie Bluntpencil – By @martamorientes

By Marta Morientes


Rosie Bluntpencil

I’m a disaster. 

Everything I touch gets broken. Every time I say something, it’s wrong. If I have something on my hand, it falls down. I eat awful food. I lose my ID, my debit card, my phone, my pocket, my phone again and again. I walk on the streets, I bumpsorryintosorrypeoplesorry all the time. I’ve never been an intellectual but I try to pretend I am. I’m a creep. I’m not talented. My luck is getting worse and worse. 80% of success is showing up, I show up and I fail. I decided to go to a FREE comedy show last weekend and they didn’t let me in. BUM! When I realize, I screw up again. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

In every brief, I mess up. Every proposition is vague. Every topical is meh. Craft is poor. I get a Poker Chip and I lose it. I’ve started every book. I haven’t finished any of them. I misspell. I misunderstand. I miss deadlines. I miss opportunities. I’m late. I’m late again. I drink a lot of coffee. Marc asks: How STICKY is your campaign? Did you do 6 hat thinkings? Is it simple? Is it unexpected? Is it concrete? Is it credible? Is it emotional? How do you rate the story? Another one to add to my scrap portfolio book. Damn it, I screw up again.

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

However, I met Johnny Blackpencil recently. Do you know him? If you don’t know Johnny shake hands with him next time. Although be careful, he has strong arms. 

He does 50 scamps a minute. He gives solutions that make money. He gives solutions that push boundaries and win awards. He is the owner of his time. He has more badges than the boy scouts. And he says he is a virtuoso. 

When I meet with Johnny, he’s already there. He’s faster than me. He’s better than me. He’s smarter than me. I am like a fat kid trying to get to the finish line. He’s everything I am not. I am teaching him what is like messing up. He’s teaching me how to fly. 

My Flesch score won’t be good. I know. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

I am still a disaster. 


The copy scores 86.9 in the Flesch Reading Ease test

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