If you were bottled in a perfume, what would you be like? And what would your first ad be like? – By KRAK intake

By  KRAK intake 2019/20


If you were bottled in a perfume, what would you be like? And what would your first ad be like?


Issy: Dark horse bottled. Enigmatic but refreshing. The bottle will be so inconspicuous you won’t notice it at first. But the smell will be so intoxicatingly good it’ll become a madenning obsession to find that scent again. Hints of dark Tuscan leather, with an orangey hit. The ad will feature me on my dark horse motorbike, being followed by men on black galloping horses.


Alice: I would be quintessentially British; with hints of rose, bergamot and cheddar. The bottle would be a tiny model of my own torso. The advert would be me running around in a really expensive ball gown in slow motion, with a very handsome man chasing me. 


Alfie: Man musk, and freshly cut grass. Ad would be a really muscular man holding me naked as if I were a broom, whilst I eat the grass with my teeth.


Munraj: I would be a fruity and exotic smelling perfume, a summer scent with hints of mango and sweet papaya. The advert would be Jason Momoa sensually biting into a mango, the juices dripping down his bare chest and soaking into his luscious beard. 


Pierre: Yes, discreet as some soap with the fragrance of freshness. I will be appreciated by the young for its caractère and by the old for its finesse. As l’Eau de panache from the movie the grand Budapest hotel, it will sublimate my natural seductiveness toward the opposite sex. 

Guerlain Homme par Jean Paul Goude :


Phillip: A morning scent of lavender blended with ritz crackers and banana. The first ad would be a man going up an escalator by himself with down escalators on either side of him full of beautiful women eyeing him as he ascends into the light.  


Lawrence: Bottle of fresh saliva with hints of whatever I’ve just eaten. First ad would be me taking a shower.


Aaron: The scent of despair with a whiff of existential crises. I would be packaged in a glass decanter.


Gigi: The smell of success (bank notes and cocaine). To access my perfume, you have to pop the lid like a champagne cork and there are pink ostrich feathers draped around the bottle like a feather boa. Drench yourself, it’ll mask any capitalist sins. The theme song would be Fancy by Iggy Azalea. I GIGI Y with my name in bold. 


Elle: The sweaty, muggy smell of the inside of a cheap club. The advert would replicate a massive EDM rave with muscly men with their tops off and girls shaking their bums, seriously sweaty. The song alongside the advert would be Animals by Martin Garrix (tune). 


Holly: Is it sad that 9 year old me has thought about this before? Finally, all that daydreaming has come in handy! It would be called simply scrumptious and would have sweet citrusy tones, think oranges, rose and strawberry. There will obviously be a musky Oudy alternative to please those who want a heavier smell (as I do like to please.) The advert is TBC but I’m imagining a sugarplum fairyesque wonderland with beautiful floaty dresses and subtle pink makeup. For the heavier scent, the ad would be the polar opposite, dark, woody slightly twisted. is that enough detail for you? I have bottle designs if anyone interested?  


Scarlet: Egyptian cotton with strong notes of pretentiousness. My first ad would be filmed in slow motion, on a helicopter, throwing high thread count sheets to the needy. 


Carly: My perfume would be that first blast of warm, salty sea air that hits you when you step off the plane in a hot country, with notes of Hawaiian tropic sunblock. Along with an undertone of the smell that connects you to that one childhood memory that may or may not have been a dream. The first ad would be me as a mermaid, luring hot sailors to their death. 


Katie: The smell of moist soil and tarmac just as it begins to rain…


Drip, drip, drop. The rain begins to fall. It is sensual. She stands in the road, her body covered in sticky molasses. She turns, a duck-billed platypus steps into the puddle that now surrounds her. It’s beak caresses her thigh. From the heavens above, a chiseled, soil-laden man descends. Their palms touch. A baby is born. A voice whispers “Gush.”


Marley: Jam donuts made from the jam donut sweats I get from eating them on a daily basis. Perfume would also double up as a low-calorie snack.


Rolly: The smell of peppermint, sweet and refreshing. Just making sure my partner is well awake when working with me. The advert will be aimed at creative people, basically, me walking into an office, where everyone is tired but wakes up with a green hat on them when I pass by. 


Chris: My scent would be of motor oil and petrol with a slight hint of white musk and my advert would be of ferro fluid moving in slow motion around electromagnets, shot in monochrome watching the fluid move through the magnetic fields, the voice over whispers odeur de Medford.


Oliver: Essence of Boss. A summer scent spiked with pheromones. 


TVC: A lone man in the desert stops a massive sandstorm. He turns around. Looks straight into the camera and whispers “Essence de Boss”


Sam: Estée Lauder Beautiful eau de parfum – like me, spends most of its time on women’s necks.


Eva: Like rain on a summer day. Advert would be rain on a summer day. Does what it says on the tin. 


Charlie: Apparently I smell clean and fresh…TVC: Washing machine stops — door flicks open — I get dragged out, popped in a basket and carried to the line, where I’m hung up to dry, a peg pinning each shoulder. I gently sway in the breeze with a content smile across my face. ‘Smell as fresh as you feel.’


Ellie: Smelly elephant belly. First ad would be the same. 


Ivan: Basically this but with me in the ad instead.




 Eau de Middlesbrough. Top notes of smog and despair. Heart notes of misguided hope and working class solidarity. Base notes of industrial decline and football fanaticism. Advert: a moody, B&W montage of Stewart Downing’s best goals.


Tommy: Tommy Hilfiger’s Tommy by Tommy 


Elisa: The smell of mountain air with a hint of joy and a big dash of curiosity. First ad would be a 10 second spot showing someone reaching the top of the Gaisberg Mountain in Austria. Just as they reach the top they raise their head to see the incredible view. The end. 


DJ: Talk is nice. But I went back in time, made the product, shot the ad and got more views than KrakTok. Step it up guys.




Dean: – DECADEANT – 


A fragrance that’s made up of 6 key chemical ingredients. The first, a squirt of utter joy. The second, a dash of overwhelming energy. The third, a dollop of sheer madness. The fourth, a hint of horridness. The fifth, an esoteric amount of eccentricity. The sixth, a whiff of wild woebegone wonder. 


And on that powerful note, I leave you with one of my favorite perfume ads of all time.


JAY: Eau de Urinale


Sean: Eau d’antibiotic handwash. 

(Or the smell of anything other than what I’m smelling right now). 


Related SCABs

Go back

Student Application

  • Fill out the Application Form below to be a part of our next Award-Winning intake.

  • MM slash DD slash YYYY