SCABs

It takes two to Tango Orange – By @currantjones

By Tommy Curran Jones

 

It takes two to Tango Orange

 

Have you ever had a dream where your impending doom, be it an out of control 18-wheeler or a knife wielding lunatic, is hurtling towards you but your legs won’t move you out of the way?

That’s how this term feels.

I don’t have a partner yet. I want one. I want that to be abundantly clear to any SCAer reading this. I want a partner. I am completely unclear how singles make great work. Not to say that they don’t but they must be possessed of an internal critical faculty that is beyond me.

Why don’t I have one? Well, Marc has shuffled me around like a card in one of Dynamo’s tricks this term. In the various moves I’ve been bounced between partners already happily coupled. I am thrown in as an interloper, my presence disruptive and unwelcome. Marc has his reasons, presumably. It’s good to creatively sleep around and he doesn’t want people resting on their laurels. All well and good, but I feel like a pawn in a game, sacrificed for some higher purpose.

The reason this constant movement is hard is because it gives me no time to work on my portfolio in any meaningful way. The portfolio is the reason I’m at the school. It is a portfolio school. Yet as I  am moved between partners, we are forced to mash books creating an ugly portmanteau that lives a half life during our fleeting coupling. This is no way to work.

On asking Marc for some advice about how to work with a partner who clearly wanted to be with someone else he replied, ‘You’ve just got to turn her head.’

Thanks Marc.

But none of that is really an answer to why I don’t have a partner. It’s probably made it harder but it’s not why.

I am why.

On meeting me I would appear, in order of what strikes you first: tall, posh, arrogant, posh, reserved, and nerdy.

Those are not my own estimations but my classmates, from an exercise that we took part in during a stand up comedy course.

And I can’t argue with them, they are certainly all facets of my character. On paper they certainly don’t look like what I would want in a partner. Certainly useful if you need something from a high shelf or need to know what a portion of a polo match is called, but not someone you want to spend 12 hours a day with.

But those are first impressions and we’ve been at this school for several months now. My classmates have seen me be early every day, write some strong copy, make some winning PBs, produce topical ads, demonstrate passable adobe skills and do, at the very least, my fair share of work.

But I don’t have a partner.

I am why.

I could write Lemon or Think Smaller and it wouldn’t make someone who finds time with me less enjoyable than with someone else want to be my partner.

Who knew that learning to make adverts meant having to become a better person?

It’s the first half of term two and some great teams don’t come together until the end of term three. I know that. But I’m still worried.

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