Note to Self, by @mawbius

Alex Mawby (2)






By Alex Mawby


For the past month or so I’ve been pushing myself to write down every idea I have, day and night, however stupid or irrelevant it might be.


This has led to a notebook full of half-formed thoughts and puns.


Marc has been telling us to be more open and sharing with our ideas. So like a proud parent, I will now let some of mine go and see them wander naive and vulnerable onto pastures new.


If any of them tickle your pickle, let me know.


Dinner Date

I was in Sainsbury’s and my girlfriend texted me and said she wanted me to cook her something. There was just one condition: nothing ready made.


If there is one area in my life in which I seriously lack creativity then it is definitely cooking. I haven’t got a scooby doo what I’m doing in the kitchen, and to compound that I’m chronically lazy.


Wouldn’t it be great if Sainsbury’s had an app which looked at where I was in the store, what I already had in my cupboard based on my weekly shop, and guided me around to the perfect ingredients for a romantic meal for two?


I’d download the shit out of that.


Zlatan Breaks the Rules

So a footballer took his top off yesterday after scoring a goal, which is apparently completely illegal now because nipples.


Anyway, it turns out Zlatan wasn’t just showing off: he’d had the signatures of 50 people currently struggling to put food on the the table temporarily tattooed onto his back.


The PSG striker was making a statement for the World Food Programme.


Now if I was at Adidas, with their current ‘there will be haters’ campaign, I would be getting Suarez to take off his top after a goal, revealing a big tattooed picture of an Italian flag with a bite take out of it. Or the signatures of all the players he’s bitten.


Because when Suarez gets hungry, he’s not afraid to sink his teeth into anything.


Swipe Left on Cyclists

My brother was talking about Tinder whilst I was giving him a lift to his girlfriend’s house the other day.


I was sort of half listening, but also concentrating pretty hard on not running over the cyclists blocking the road ahead.


This made me think of Mark Palmer’s masterclass, and the article on cyclist deaths in London he got us to read.


A lot of cyclists die on left-turns, a high proportion of them women, because drivers don’t check their mirrors properly.


When you swipe left on someone on Tinder, they disappear forever. You reject them usually without a second glance.


Is there some way of getting people to look more carefully before they swipe left on tinder, that can also encourage them to be more observant when they turn left on the roads.


Maybe. I don’t know.


Other Ideas

  • Start critting the copy in spam emails from Nigerian Princes
  • Quavers are like snowflakes or modern sculpture
  • Harem Scarem – good name for a no nonsense militant feminist super-hero team who wear harem pants
  • Set up blog called ‘a sign of the times’ featuring photos of funny signs
  • Copy for Spring sale at Audi: Spring has Vorsprung
  • Christmas campaign for Babybel – ‘celebrate the little baby cheeses this christmas’
  • Honest Burgers: McDonalds et al photoshop and mess around with how burgers look in photoshoots. Parallel with treatment of celebrities/women.

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