By Aaron Furman

Pooping Indoors – Part one 

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

He’s taking me in today. I’m so excited I might just do a little wee. Its been almost 8 weeks and I’ve begun my journey to become the best canine creative in the dog-eat-dog world of adverting. 

I have landed myself in supposedly the best school for this industry. It’s filled with the most incredible humans but they do all lack a good coat of fur and not enough of them are into throwing green balls. 

Anyway I digress.

I’ve been trying my absolute hardest and finding my feet has been tough. Especially when I’m off the floor from all the cuddles. 

I must admit, I act a tiny bit entitled. I know it’s not mine to claim but this studio has become my new home. I walk with a little swagger and everybody is turning their heads to look at my arse. I can’t help but think that I’m incredible. It is perfect. My ego has gotten through the roofff at this point. I’m constantly told I am a good girl. How can I not believe that if everyone is saying it? 

The honest truth is I only have 1 main contender for the top spot in this mad ad world.  Her name is spoken by many and I fear it above all else. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL. FUCKING SQUIRREL.

She is the epitome of my anxiety. When I come home to decompress and rest my weary paws, I look out to the garden. I can find peace knowing that this is my territory to guard, my grass, my trees and my bush. When I am fully in my flow and the wind is just right, I see them and get angry. FUCKING SQUIRRELS IN MY GARDEN. I have to deal with this shit at home and at work. Squirrels are everywhere. 

I feel like I’m beating her. That my tail wag is the most notable. Not to name anybody but Holly, Eva, Oliver and Gigi are all in my new pack. They are the best and I know that I have won them over. I will slowly try and work my way round the room and lick my way to their feeble human hearts. 

Sometimes it all gets too much and I need some alone time. I try and escape to the peace gardens but everyone thinks I’m running off. I need a guard to go anywhere. It’s so furrrrstrating. I can behave just fine. Although I do want to chase those metal dogs on the concrete that always pass by. I wonder how there arses smell?

I need to assert my dominance somehow. 

There is only one way.

In the harsh reality of briefs and deadlines – pooping indoors. 

Pooping Indoors 1 is a response to Phillip Laskaris ‘Pooping Outdoors 1’