Proverbs, proverbs, proverbs. We’ve all heard them but who has actually bothered to write their own? They’re a bit like single-minded propositions in that they contain a truth that is expressed with a slight twist or a sprinkling of wit. That is, at least, my definition of a proverb. Now let’s see what the Daddy of all knowledge, Wikipedia, has to say on the matter, and I quote: 

A simple and insightful, traditional saying that expresses a perceived truth based on common sense or experience. 

My apple didn’t fall too far from the tree on that one. I have decided I want to get back into the groove of proverbs as a way to exercise the part of my brain now responsible for coming up with SMPs. Let me give some context. In my most recent SCAB, I voiced a moderate desire for an enjoyable Christmas holiday to unwind from the long semester. And boy did Christmas step up and give us a lovely little early Christmas treat. We have to write twenty-five banging SMPs which means we’ll have to write, like, a thousand shit ones first before we strike gold. Therefore, this minor exercise is a stitch in time that will save me nine. 

But proverbs are difficult to write. Get them right and you’ll be immortalised in the annals of time. Get them wrong, well, if you’re at an ad school to be a copywriter you’ll likely get thrown out as a pretender who besmirches the noble profession of the scribe.  

Anyway, ‘nuff talk, here are some proverbs I pulled out of my arse — mind: 

The first pint is a blessing, the second is a curse. 

An arrogant man looks in the mirror often but fleetingly, a humble man looks in the mirror rarely but deeply. 

Remember the apple blossoms began as bird shit.

A man without confidence is a fire without kindling. 

A material man is a lonely pharaoh atop his pyramid. 

A thought without reflection is a thinker without wrinkles. 

Impatience is a private in a general’s uniform. 

Insincerity is a droplet of sweat masquerading as a tear. 

A sceptic is a man at a banquet eating his napkin. 

A crumble without apple will be hollow below the crust. 

If God were a perfectionist, the world would not yet be created. 

A decision based on assumption is a winning spent before the horse has won. 

Slow and steady may win the race, yet time waits for no one.

A hungry heart quells all appetites. 

Ears talk the sweetest. 

An egg won’t lay itself. 

And that, as they say, is that. Feel free to rate these on a scale of eight to eleven out of ten. I’ll gladly listen to any and all praise. Joking. It’s a fun little thing to do to pass the time. Or if you want to keep the brain working whilst taking a break from writing Johnnie Walker ads (oh lord). Anyone who fancies a crack at this little exercise I’d be more than happy to hear and borrow them for future SCAB posts. Joking. Again. 



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