SCABs

RATING MY CLASSMATES – By @victorialeed

By Victoria D’Andrea

 

RATING MY CLASSMATES

 

This past week I’ve realised how much I value snacks. This is mostly because I’ve tried to stop buying them, so I appreciate it so much more when someone offers me a tasty treat at school.

 

Because I want to encourage this behaviour in my peers, I have decided to rate each and every SCA student according to how much food they’ve donated to my cause and the deliciousness of it.

 

The score is 0 to 10, 0 being the lowest (no nutrition received) to 10 (next level nibbles).

 

Names are in alphabetical order.

 

May the games begin.

 

Alfie: 0/10. Never provided any snacks.

Alysha: 0/10. Heard a lot about her qualities as treat-provider, but never experienced.

Andy: 0/10. Little to base my judgement off of.

Aleksandra: 6/10. Has only once brought food to my notice. The score is quite high nevertheless, as it was a sizeable offering which I greatly appreciated.

Alex B: 7/10. Here again, there was only one instance to comment on. Still, the offering was varied and abundant, as well as relatively healthy.

Alex T: 0/10. Nothing to consider.

Antonio: 7/10. Quite a satisfactory record. I’ve been repeatedly offered beverage during our stint as partners, as well as well-timed chocolate biscuits.  

Charles: 0/10. Likes eating. Likes sharing less apparently.

Coco: 0/10. Another poor performance.

Dan: 0/10. Never even seen snacking himself.

Dean: 0/10. Negative on the food front.

Forrest: 0/10. Not a great snacking execution.

Gemina: 0/10. Definitely could do better.

Holly: -2/10. With this case, I had to be quite severe in my rating. I’ve noticed the tendency of inverting the intended behaviour, i.e. she has the habit of eating my snacks. That’s the opposite of what we are trying to achieve here.

Jacob: 0/10. No snacking had.

Jemma: 2/10. I think once brought cake to celebrate another pupil’s birthday. I did sample some, which is appropriately reflected in the score.

Joe F: 2/10. Once introduced me to plantain crisps. Very grateful about that, even if it was only one occurrence.

Joe R: 0/10. Not yet, but I have hopes for future offerings.

Joe S: 0/10. No snacks to declare.

Josie: 0/10. I had high hopes, but they were dashed.

Karolina: 10/10.  This force of nature extends her personality to her snacking provisions. Often offers a wide variety of food, which also receives high points in taste as repeatedly offers never seen or sampled before tastes. A small note should be made to handle any new food or drink with care.

Lauren: 0/10. Ready to re-evaluate judgement. 

Lelli: I had a hard time deciding the mark for this one. She has in fact offered a great number of snacks, often expanding to the food division. Yet, most of this offering could be considered in exchange for shelter. Let’s just say it’s a 5/10.

Lucy: 4/10. Brought brownies once for her birthday. They were exceptional.

Maddie: 7/10. While she has never offered food to me directly, I was incredibly impressed with the selection and quality of food offered at her party. I never forget a good spread.

Marta: 0/10. As a neighbour, I expected better.

Mary: I hope you are feeling better Mary. But your current illness is no excuse. 0/10.

Max: 0/10. Alas, has never shared.

Patxi: 0/10. Is always seen in a corner. Perhaps because he is hiding a secret feast.

Phil: 0/10. Has never been witness to offer me snacks.

Rachel: 9/10 She has built her snack reputation on reliability. Every time I have mentioned needing nutrition she has materialised an offer. A point has been taken away due to an inconveniently different palate.

Rob: 4/10. Has also only risen to the occasion the one time. I was still impressed as the offer was of chocolate and of the Lindt variety.

Ruby: 10/10. Is widely respected as a constant source of snacks. While very often they tend to be of the healthy variety (some would suggest this excludes them from being truly part of the snack sector) he also seems to beat most people in the sugary category as well.

Saphire: 0/10. The fact she is vegan is acknowledged but was judged not to be a significant factor.

Sophie: 0/10. I’ve been to her house and have been offered crisps, but I’m unconvinced they were hers.

Tarun: 0/10. No food at all to consider.

Tom: 8/10. While the snacking was limited really to the couple of days we worked together, I was nevertheless impressed by the seemingly unending supply of Jaffa cakes throughout. Therefore, I am giving him a higher mark than maybe deserving.

Zoe: I think is on a sugarless diet, so I can forgive the absence of sharable sustenance. It’s still a 0/10.

 

 

Special mentions

While not truly belonging in the classmate category, Marcia deserves a mention. When questioned on her own consumption on interesting nibbles she will often provide a number of similar products for the observing group to sample. 8/10.

 

 

 

I’m going to be honest. By reviewing the numbers I’m quite disappointed by the performance of my peers. Don’t agree? Figures never lie. I’ve calculated the average of this cohort, and it’s a sub-standard 2.2432432432.
 

Guys, it’s important that during D&AD season we provide for each other.

 

I believe in our cohort. We can do better. We must do better.

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