Relight My Fire

Hello from inside! Well outside actually. I’m in my garden right now which I feel very privileged to have. For anyone who might have read my last scab (a completely non-bitter, non-stressed, totally chill lil segment called Just Say No), you’ll know I took a break last week. And I felt very conflicted about taking it even though it was the right thing to do. Well update: it was amazing. I did absolutely nothing for a good portion of time (which was riddled with guilt but trust and believe I fought through). I also started a few passion projects which I have to say was the single best decision I’ve made in months. Other than washing my hands. 

I was feeling really down and not myself the first few weeks of lockdown. I had just lost all confidence in my ability to make anything, do anything, to improve. I ended the week before my break in tears in an empty bathtub. The wifi was better in the bathroom. So the next day I sat down and had a think and realised that all my self-worth in terms of my writing and general life prospects were coming from SCA. And, because it wasn’t going how I wanted it to, it was affecting me way more deeply than it should have. So I planned out some stuff I could do for myself.

First on my agenda was to restart my blog. I started it back in 2017 but it all fizzled out. Now looking back I figure I was just scared of properly going for it. I’m not as scared of that now; SCA has a pretty good way of wearing down your inhibitions. I came up with an idea for a digital event service called The Smoking Area that I actually did a beta test for (only just learnt what that meant). That was pretty exciting too and people responded to it really well. I wrote in my diary. I read. I went for runs. I called my family. It just made me realise the importance of doing stuff for yourself and exploring the stuff you’re passionate about.

This is not completely news to me. From day one Marc has hammered home the importance of passion projects and not solely throwing yourself into advertising. Loads of people have suggested I learn to balance my personal writing with my career now rather than in a few years time. But I do believe that people only truly learn from experience and I reckon I’ve just been taught.