By Ben Conway




Display of somewhat appropriate swears;

fuck. shit. bollocks. jesus christ. wanker.


My Grandad said on the phone today “I didn’t really think you had a chance,

in the sense, it seemed you were just mucking about”. My Nan said “I thought you were being a prat”. My parents were just ecstatic that I turned my half baked crossdressing into a financial leverage for us in the coming year (I don’t entirely blame them)..

If this is to be of any use to anyone reading, rather than the usual word vomit, I think this worked so well because I followed that intuition. We all have it inside of us. I used it after we moved from the SCA party to the second venue in Soho at 2am and realised I should really leave early to help my sister move out to her flat the next day (5 hours sleep say


You’ve got to have the mentality of “this will work”. I nearly broke down over the month of prep’ trying to make The High Heel Hiker come alive, which in retrospect was just lots of small bumps.

Travelling the length of the country, organising the connections, convincing everyone around me it was a stiletto or nothing. I said from the start any other shoe would have made it another story.

I even sold my project about being passionate for “proving people wrong”. Some people saw that as being a strident fag trying to defeat adversity, which really wasn’t the message, so I’m not

hot shit at all. More luke warm shit. It’s been a massive lesson of clarity. What is the core of what you are trying to say?

I saw the SCA handbook or laws on the wall when I was helping out at the agency day, and read “never seek compliments, seek criticism” or something along those lines. So in terms of seeing my film, there were plenty of moments I cringed at. I want to capture the pure GAG (because we were all gagged lets be honest) of Joe’s fox hunting stunt, the beauty and execution of how Rita’s highlighted Catalonia’s inability to express freedom from the Spanish government and Rachel’s ingenuity in making other people’s lives better.

This isn’t my Sandra Bullock Miss Congeniality moment, but I’m just trying to find this reflection in

my work from what the others achieved. I’m still a bit weirded out that the video got 1,000,000 views on Facebook, I’ve appeared on ITV news ‘This Morning’ and the family I stayed with in Japan two years ago send me a screenshot of the article on a popular Japanese mobile news site. I’m trying to take some sort of humbling and thankful tone, maybe to seem like I’m not Billy big bollocks before we start in September.

So, this SCAB is more about having the confidence to say yes when someone tells you no. Trust yo self.

Much love x

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