Stupid Piece of S*** – By @joeyfraser95

By Joe Fraser


Stupid Piece of S***

Stupid piece of shit. You stupid piece of shit, get up. It’s the morning. Why are you still sitting in bed when your alarm has gone off and it’s the morning time? No, don’t grip your pillow even more, get up, out of bed and do something with your day you stupid piece of shit. Do I have low blood sugar? Is that why I can’t get out of bed easily? Do other people have this problem? No – it’s just you dumb-dumb. Now get up.

First things first. Shower. You stink. I’ve never known someone to smell as bad as you. You really are a piece of shit with that smell. No hot water? Put some on the meter then? Spent your last bit of money on a record? That’s why you’re not just a piece of shit, but you’re also stupid, stupid. Okay. Now what? Breakfast.

Ugh. Eat something more healthy for breakfast. A bowl of Shreddies with oat milk isn’t going to be filling. You rely too much on cereals. Every meal you have has bread in it. But I like bread? What’s wrong with bread? Everyone eats bread. But you eat too much bread.  It slows you down. Makes you less creative. Be creative with everything you do. Eat creatively. Sometimes it’s not that easy though. It is if you’re consistent. 21 days. 21 days to make a habit. My ex studied psychology – said that idea was made to sell a book about plastic surgery. Self-help writers took that idea and put it into self-help books for people who needed self-help thus getting no self-help. Even though they really needed self-help. It was a lie.

What other lies are there? Maybe I should try seek them out. Do a bit of research.

Don’t waste your time you stupid piece of shit. Hop on your bike. Cycle to SCA. Makes you healthy. Makes you feel better. Why is it so difficult? Why am I not only a stupid piece of shit but a fat piece of shit too? Was this hill always so steep? What if I just turn back now? Don’t go to school? What would happen then? I’d learn nothing. Make a shit portfolio and waste £16000 on nothing. But you learn so much. What did Patrick Collister say? Start wide, then get simpler and simpler towards the top of your idea triangle.

So many bloody triangles.

This hill is as steep as a pyramid.

Positioning. —> Strategy. —> Execution.

Get your butt on the bike properly. Change into higher gears. Stand up when you’re going uphill.

Thanks, Patrick.

Okay. So you applied creative thinking to something physical. So what? You’re still a piece of shit. When have you used that in your creative work? Bloody PBs. What have you got to show for them? Anything good in your book? Nope. Anything going to win you a pencil? Nope. Then what’s the bloody point? Changing the world? Yeah right. With what you’ve come up with? If you think that you’re a real piece of shit.

Lift the bike up the stairs. One-by-one. Jeez, you really are out of shape. People are looking at your flabby bits right now. They’re all around you. Can’t you see them? You have no idea. No idea and no ideas. Get your butt into that studio. Put your bike away. It has a flat tyre. Well done, you stupid piece of shit. You were too lazy and too shit at cycling to avoid that bit of glass in the road. Why do you even cycle? You hate the sweat you feel after a ride? But you love the cold wind and the fun of going downhill. It’s worth it after the uphill.

I hate the sweat while cycling. I love going downhill while cycling.

Love and hating a product. A great approach to products and ideas.

Thanks, Will Awdry.

So what? So fucking what? You’ve got a couple of bits of advice that help you with a couple of things. You’ve still got weird lenses on your glasses that make you look like Milhouse. Get changed. Get to the studio. Take some notes. If you can write properly. Looks like you can’t. Illegible. Can’t type notes. Can’t do that, stupid. God, it’s scary being here. Are you talented? Can you keep up? Keep up, you piece of shit. Unless you can’t. Scary. If they find out about how shit you are you’re done for. No one will want to work with you. STOP OVERTHINKING. Stop overthinking for a second you piece of a shit and listen to the masterclass.

Graeme Hall: Find a job that scares you.

Looks like you’re doing something right you stupid piece of shit.

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